The Witness Perturbation
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: Penny witnesses the aftermath of a violent crime.  The man can be convicted with her help, but her safety will be compromised.  And there's only one way to be truly safe...Warning for language. Genres: Drama, Angst, Crime, and Romance. L/P, H/B, Group.
1. Witness

**So I was intending to write this for LiveJournal's BigBangBigBang Challenge, just like I did "The Long Road Parallel" last year. I'm still going to do that challenge; it's so much fun, but I wrote too much of this fic too fast, and I know that I won't be able to wait until August to publish it. So here's the beginning, I have about eight chapters written already.**

"Thank you, have a great night," Penny said, smiling as the family of four left the restaurant. She looked down at the table with a smile. She was no math wizard, but that was at least a twenty percent tip. Since she'd taken her own advice that she'd given to Sheldon during the Friend Making Disaster of 2009 and been more pleasant to the customers even if it was late and she was tired, her tips had become much better.

She smiled as she took the family's tip from the table. She was so much more financially stable since she'd started putting out the extra effort. Of course, it helped that her boyfriend still let her 'piggyback' on his apartment's WiFi.

"Heading out?" Cheryl asked, coming from the kitchen.

"Just about to," Penny said. "Do you need a ride?"

"Yeah. Stupid Brad won't come pick me up since I puked in his car."

"I wouldn't drive you around if you were as drunk as you were that night, either," Penny said. "I'd call you a cab."

"Well, I'm sober, so can you take me to Brad's?" Cheryl asked.

"Yeah, hang on," Penny said.

"Thanks, he doesn't want me to go home alone since that serial killer got that woman out at Long Beach."

"Yet he won't come out to get you?" Penny asked, raising an eyebrow. "Sounds like a great boyfriend."

Cheryl shrugged. "Just because you've got gold doesn't mean I can't be happy with my buccaneer."

"What?" Penny asked, cocking her head.

"You know Fool 's Gold. Pirate."

"It's not pronounced like that, Cheryl," Penny said, rolling her eyes. She heading into the back room to clock out. "But I like your attempt at making a comparison."

"Thanks!" Cheryl said, grinning. The two women headed out to Penny's car, throwing playful insults at one another. Cheryl slid into the passenger side and put on her seat belt in response to a look from Penny. "When did you become so safe?"

"Since always," she joked, putting the car into gear and pulling out onto the road.

Their friendly banter ceased as they drove, it was dark and Penny was concentrating on the road. "Where does this Brad guy live again?" She asked, slowing down each time a side street came up.

"Three more down on the left," Cheryl said. "In the trailer, remember?"

Penny raised her eyebrows, knowing that her friend couldn't see her. She'd dated her share of guys who lived in trailers, back in Nebraska, and experience told her that they weren't the best kind of guys-especially if they regularly set it on fire. She decided to give Brad the benefit of the doubt and assume he hadn't ever set his house on fire.

"Right here," Cheryl said. "You can let me out-that light is his trailer."

"Okay," Penny said, stopping the car. She waited until she saw her friend enter the trailer before pulling out and heading back up the road; she always did when she took her home. She tried for her friend's sake, but she didn't like the kind of guys Cheryl dated, and even though waiting to make sure she was inside made Cheryl angry sometimes, it made Penny feel better to know that she had gotten from one place to another safely. That way, on the off chance that anything happened, Penny could verify that she'd gotten to her boyfriends...place of residense.

She was almost back to the Cheesecake Factory when the light rain that had started up as she was approaching Brad's trailer let up, and as she sat at the final red light, she turned her windshield wipers off. With the rain, the sky had darkened, and all that could be seen aside from headlights was the area behind the McDonald's, where there was a streetlight. Penny looked over at that lit area and saw a hunched figure by a few dumpsters. He had something in a bag, and it looked like he was struggling to lift it and place it inside. He was shirtless, and a skinny guy; the streetlight that shown down on him clearly showed his arms, which weren't much wider than Sheldon's cousin Leo's. On his back was a tattoo that looked to be of a five pointed red star, and it took up all of his back, the bottom two points ending where his jeans began. Penny rolled her eyes. They shouldn't hire skinny people to lift what looked like a very heavy bag into dumpsters, it didn't make any sense.

Behind Penny, someone honked their horn, and she jumped, realizing that the light had already turned green. "Sorry," she said in an annoyed voice, even though she knew that the person who had blared their horn couldn't hear her. She wasn't mad; she'd lost focus, so for once she didn't stick her hand out of the window to give the finger to the person who'd honked at her.

It was nearly fifteen minutes later when she got home, parked her car, and headed up to her apartment. Leonard was already asleep, an arm over his eyes, and she didn't want to wake him. She eased into the bed and maneuvered herself slowly and carefully until she was lying in a position that she felt she could sleep in.

* * *

The phone jolted both Leonard and Penny awake. "What?" Leonard was groggy, he rubbed at his eyes and fumbled for his glasses. "What time is it?"

"Four in the morning. Sorry!" Penny said, looking at the time on her phone before answering. "Hello?"

"Penny!"

"Cheryl?"

"No shit, Sherlock, you have Caller I.D."

"Sorry." Penny looked at Leonard, who had switched on the lamp, and made an apologetic face before continuing. "What's up?"

"The serial killer!"

"What about him?"

"He's killed another woman! Dumped her in the garbage behind the McDonald's by the Cheesecake Factory. It's all over the news!"

Penny jumped up, throwing the covers back and running into the living room, ignoring Leonard's questioning remarks. She fumbled with the remote and switched on the television.

"…and I saw someone running off. I didn't get a good look at him, but I'm pretty sure it was a man. That's when I looked in the dumpster, because the cover wasn't on it."

The person speaking was wearing a McDonald's employee shirt; Penny presumed he was the manager. The picture than switched to the channel's main reporter. "If anyone has any information relating to the crime, which we do believe to be related to the murders of…"

"Isn't that terrifying, Penny? Penny? ...Penny?"

Penny didn't hear Cheryl. The phone had lowered from her ear when she recognized the building that the man had been interviewed in front of. Now she held it in both hands, which rested at her stomach.

Leonard came up behind her. "What was that all about, love bug?" he asked, reaching around her to pull a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Did you see?" she asked.

"The serial killer?" Leonard asked. "Just about what you saw. That happened so close to your work…" She felt his arms slide around her stomach as his voice trailed off.

"I know," she said in a whisper. "I saw him dump the body."

**Chapter two will be up sometime soon-it's already written but I have a lot of studying to do...finals this week! Oy. I'll get it up as soon as I have a few minutes.**


	2. Death Threat

**This starts a few moments after the first chapter ends. Hope you like it!**

"They said to call. I should call. Shouldn't I call?" She spun around to face Leonard, the cell phone still in her hands.

He looked at her, his mouth moving but unable to form words; in the silence after she'd admitted to witnessing the body dump he clearly hadn't absorbed all that she said. Finally he managed a response. "…yeah."

"So helpful!" she said, almost yelling the words at him due to her sudden mood change. Then she fell silent and cocked her head. "Do you hear talking?"

Leonard's eyes widened. "It's him!" A look of panic came over him. "Go in the bedroom, I'll fight the guy!"

During Leonard's outburst, Penny had realized the source of the talking, and put a hand up to stop Leonard as he began ushering her toward her room. "Sorry about that, Cheryl."

"What on earth is he freaking out about?" she asked.

"No idea," Penny said. If Cheryl hadn't heard, she wasn't about to tell her. "You know, he's friends with the Homeless Crazy Guy, so…" laughing the question off, Penny said good – bye to Cheryl and hung up. "I'm calling. No, I shouldn't call. I should go in tomorrow and tell them myself. No, I should call…I should go in right now, will you take me?"

"Penny," Leonard said, looking toward the clock.

"For God's sake, Leonard, I just made a decision! I need help following through with it!"

Leonard stopped to consider. True, she'd been going back and forth about what she should do, how she should go about doing it, and when she should do it, that now that she'd decided something he should probably encourage her. And she could drive herself but…he knew it must be chilling to find out after the fact that one had witnessed something like that. "Sure, I'll take you, just let me put more clothes on."

* * *

"You have plenty of clothes on, let's go!" she said, tugging him toward the door.

"I'm in boxers and a T-shirt," he said, gently pulling his arm out of her grasp. Give me thirty seconds."

The woman at the desk at the police station seemed amused that Penny had driven down there instead of calling the tip line, but she ushered her back into a room with a table and chairs. She hadn't wanted Leonard to go too, but Penny was their first tip that made sense-she worked near the dump site and her shift ended forty minutes after the estimated Time of Death of the victim. So she'd allowed Leonard to accompany her.

"Is this an interrogation room?" Penny asked when the woman had gone, gripping Leonard's arm.

"Nails, nails, nails, nails," he repeated until she loosened her hold.

"Sorry," she said, reaching over with her other hand to rub the marks her fingernails had left. "Is this an interrogation room?"

"We're not being interrogated," Leonard said, rolling his eyes in amusement.

"The hell you're not!" she said. "I'm the witness here, okay?" She kept the stern face for a few seconds, and then couldn't hold back her smirk. After a few moments though, the smirk was gone. "Leonard?" she said in a small voice.

"Yeah?"

"I witnessed a murder," she said, leaning against him. Leonard slid his arm around her, biting his tongue to stop himself from correcting her; the woman was already dead when Penny'd seen the killer, and as she was in a black trash bag Penny hadn't actually seen the victim, either. But he knew whenever she was acting overly cheerful, she was either trying to cover up fear or sadness, so he just kept his arm around her and his tongue between his teeth.

The door opened, and a tall man walked in with a clipboard. "Hello."

"Hi," Penny and Leonard chorused.

"I'm Detective Sheila Tompkins" she said, holding out her hand to both of them. "So it was you who saw…something…last night?"

"Yeah," Penny said. She gave the time of day and the location.

"Okay," said Tompkins, writing it down. "What exactly did you see?"

"I was at the light," Penny said, "heading West, and it had just stopped misting. That was one of the only streetlights working, so I was looking at it; just behind the McDonalds, and I saw this skinny guy trying to lug this big black bag into the dumpster. I remember it because he was skinny and shirtless; not the type of guy I would have, at least, working janitorial."

"Did you notice anything about the man? Can we get you with a sketch artist?"

Penny shrugged. "I didn't see his face. Just the tattoo on his back."

Tompkins froze, and then looked up at her. "He had a tattoo? Can you describe it?"

"This big red five – pointed –star on his back. His jeans were at his waist and the two bottom points reached them. The top point began to go up his neck. It was very odd-this dark red color."

The detective was writing notes very quickly now. "Anything else?"

Penny shrugged. "No, not really. Will that help any?"

"Trememdously," said the detective. "We appreciate you coming in."

"I'm very glad that I did that," Penny said as she walked out to her car with Leonard.

"You did the right thing," he said, smiling fondly at her. "Maybe they'll finally catch the guy."

"He's killed like six people," Penny said, shuddering. "I can't believe no one's actually seen him before then."

"Maybe they had," Leonard said. "If he comes over to fast food places to put bodies in dumpsters while in garbage bags, well…putting black garbage bags in dumpsters is a common occurrence. Penny?"

She had stopped, and was looking around. "I think I'm gonna be paranoid now about people watching me."

"You're imagining it," Leonard said, smiling and taking her hand. "Let's go home."

"Mmmkay," she said, smiling at him. They got in her car and heading down the street. "Can we go get breakfast first?" She asked.

He glanced over at her from the driver's seat and gave a dramatic sigh. "If you _want_ to..."

She swatted him playfully. They smiled at each other.

* * *

"_Leonard!" _Penny shrieked the next morning, standing at her door in her bathrobe.

He came running out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. His hair was soaked. "What is it, what's wrong?"

She held out the paper to him with a shaking hand. He reached for it, and she snatched her hand back. "Evidence. Just look."

He leaned in close, squinting. "I saw…what?"

_"I saw you come out of the station. If that was about me, I will find out, and you'll be sorry. And I got people."_ Penny read. She looked up at Leonard. "Is that a joke? Or should I be afraid? I mean, getting a note, you see it in movies…is it too cliché?"

Leonard sighed. "I…I don't know. I mean…maybe it happens on television all the time because it happens a lot?"

She stepped back inside and shut the door. What the hell did 'I got people' mean? And...the note hadn't said _I will find you_; it said _I will find out._ The wording made her realize something; the note had been delivered to the door. "If that's true…and we don't know if that guy wrote this but…if so, then…he knows where I live."

"Get inside," Leonard said.

"I am inside," she said, pointing to the closed door.

"No, I mean...get over to the couch, or something. Stay in here, I'm...I'm going down to the police station."

"No! Leonard!" Penny moved toward the couch, pulling him by the sleeve. "Don't go out there until we know that it's...not anything."

"Fine," he said, putting his phone in her hand. "Call Detective Tompkins. We're getting you protection until this is over."

**This isn't going to be like my other crime related fic, where the guy comes after her in the apartment. Don't worry, this will be different; just setting it up now! By the end of the next chapter, you'll learn how…drastically different this fic is from my other one.**


	3. Options and Consequenses

**Okay, two chapters in a day! I'm on a roll! This is what happens when I spend time planning ahead…and when the web page I need my homework for won't work…*glares at physics class* so here it is, by the end of the chapter you'll know what the "twist" is.**

**I only own Tompkins, Markey, and Hindley.**

The slim, confidant African American officer that showed up at their apartment was not anyone they had seen before in person; Penny recognized her from behind the desk when they'd come to tell her story the day before.

"I'm Agent Corrine Markey," she said, offering Penny and Leonard a smile. "I'm going to be stationed here until we can get this guy in custody."

"Really?" Penny asked, looking surprised.

"We need to keep our witnesses safe. This guy is dangerous," said Markey, closing the apartment door. "Though we've got alerts out; with your description hopefully we'll have him in custody soon."

"Then I can go back to…you know…feeling safe?" Penny asked, reaching over to take Leonard's hand.

"Yes," said Markey. "He'll be in a place he can no longer find and hurt you. But we…may need some extra help from you with that."

"Okay…" Penny glanced at Leonard. "With what?"

"We'll need you to testify in court," said Markey. "If we catch him based on your observation alone, the court would want you to state under oath that the man is in fact the one you saw."

"Sure," Penny said, smiling. "I can do that, no problem. My friend's been really freaked out about this, let me tell you. I work with almost all single females, and with this guy on the loose, we've just been…" a gentle pressure on her arm from Leonard caused her to trail off. Great, now the awkward one was telling her when to stop talking. What was wrong with her? She glanced at Leonard and gave him an appreciative smile. He gave her a subtle nod in return.

"Well, we do appreciate that," said Markey, smiling at Penny.

Penny nodded, reminding herself not to like the cop too much. She appeared friendly, but all she wanted, as did all cops, was to get the job done. Act all nice, get you comfortable around them….and then they'd use your words against you while they convicted your brother of…

Penny shook her head, reminding herself that this was not the same group of cops that locked her brother up for his Chemistry. They were on her side, wanting a murderer off the streets.

* * *

Corrine Markey had stepped outside to take a phone call four hours later, and returned with the news that "we have a man in custody. He was reported by a co – worker as becoming 'anxious' when the news story came on. Can we take you in with us to identify him?" She asked Penny.

Penny froze. "I don't want him to see me!"

"He'll be behind one way glass."

"Okay." Penny nodded letting out a shaky breath. "If it helps. Right now?"

"Yes," she said, and when Penny and Leonard got up she held out a hand. "Sir, if you could stay behind…"

"Oh." He sat back down, glancing at his girlfriend. "All right."

"Will he be safe?" Penny asked, looking at Markey.

"It's okay, Penny," Leonard said. "I'll go next door; the guy doesn't know me."

Penny bit her lip. "Okay."

"Listen, sweetie," he said, getting up and placing his hands on her elbows. "You're doing such a good thing here; it's always the right thing to do. He won't even be able to see you."

"I know," she said, smiling. "I'm just glad that it's over this quickly, to be honest."

"And so are we, if it's the guy," Markey said. "Now, until we've confirmed this, and even until the story breaks, neither of you say anything to anyone. Witnesses who can't stop talking mess up a lot of cases."

"My lips are sealed," Leonard said.

Penny nodded. "No one knows." She was glad she hadn't told Cheryl anything, nor had she called Bernadette.

"Good." Markey smiled. "Let's go."

* * *

Penny clenched her hands together as she stared at the back of the man in the interrogation room. Thin shoulders, but more muscular than she'd first thought…and it made sense, as he was a killer…and he was wearing a shirt, but it was thin and white and very translucent; she could see the star tattoo, just as she had remembered it. Much larger, of course, but then it was much closer.

She nodded. "It's him," she said to officer Tompkins. She looked from the officer to the inside of the interrogation area. Markey was interviewing the man, who was clearly becoming angry. He stood up, and looked at the one way glass. He couldn't see through it, but all of a sudden Penny thought he knew she was there. And his eyes were cold and glaring. He turned back to Markey and said something, and she nodded casually and scratched her head.

Beside Penny, Tompkins nodded, turned to Penny, and said, "come with me."

"What's going on?" Penny asked ten minutes later, sitting in another back room.

"Here's what's going on," said Tompkins. "This man Vincent Hindley, has made a threat against you."

"I know that," she said. "I gave Agent Markey the letter."

"Which suggested that he has friends who are loyal to him. And in the interrogation room, he said the same thing. He knows where you live, and he said that should you testify against him, he will make sure his friends come to your house and 'destroy' you."

Penny's heart leapt into her throat. "What?" She felt stupid simply repeating the word to them, but she was so incredulous that it was hard to say anything else.

"Now, we can keep someone at your place, and have them escort you to and from work, but protection like that can only be temporary."

"And not very safe," Penny said. "I watch crime shows. Plus, unless I testify, he said he won't hurt me, and if you'd only protect me until I testify…what's the point? Either I don't…what would happen if I don't?"

"We'll do our best, but it's likely he'll go free. You're the only evidence we have. He's good at what he does."

He'd had practice. On six women. Penny put her head in her hands. That couldn't go unpunished…and she'd prefer he get locked up now and not after he killed her like he'd 'promised'. She _had_ to testify… "If I don't testify, the guy goes free, and technically, it's all my fault. But if I do…I'm just out there, waiting to be _killed_? I couldn't live with myself if I didn't help put this guy away…" Princess Leia telling Obi-Wan "You're my only hope" popped into her head. Obi-Wan had died for her and Luke. But he was older…accepting…she was young, and just getting her life together. Why was she put in this position? It wasn't "go to the movie, or watch the football game," decisions that would have had her teenaged self in tears. This was different. "but if I do…I'm going to get killed."

"There is one other outcome."

She looked up and tried to force the desperate wetness in her eyes to go away. Tompkins was looking at her. So was Markey. _There's another way?_ "What?" She asked.

"This is a very violent man. He's become famous with his ability to evade capture. We're very lucky that the man at his work saw the description of him you gave us and noticed his behavior. It's important to us, the state, and the women of California that he gets put away."

"What's my other option?" Penny begged.

Markey and Tompkins looked at each other, and then back at Penny. Markey spoke. "We feel this crime is essential enough, and the man and the alleged people around him dangerous enough, to exchange your testimony for safety in the Department of Justice's Witness Protection Program."

For a split second, Penny felt much better.

Then she froze.


	4. Lose Lose Situation

**This is actually the first chapter that I wrote, when I first got the idea for this fic. It was 1,278 words then, I added about 500 words to it today to make it tie in better. Here goes! And wow, I haven't written a 2,000 word chapter in so long! Well, I had a lot to say! Hope you enjoy it!**

**DISCLAIMER: If you recognize it from television, I do not own it.**

Another police man took Penny home an hour later. She sat in the back, her head spinning as she tried to think.

Witness Protection. Or let a killer go free.

She would have to forever give up her dream of being an actress, a dream that was still at the core of her being despite increasing realization that it was unlikely. It was something that, as long as she lived in California, she could hope about, go to sleep at night knowing that it wasn't impossible. Now, she'd have to give all of that up. Her face could never be on the big screen.

But she would leave all of those dreams behind in an instant if she could remain with the people she loved. No one else witnessed the crime with her. No one else could go with her into the program. Her family would stay in Nebraska; they were in no danger. Her friends would continue their lives in Pasadena; she couldn't ask them to give up their careers to stay with her – she wouldn't even if she'd been allowed to pose the question. She would have to leave all of them behind.

She'd have to leave Leonard.

She couldn't trade her dreams of fame for the chance to bring the ones she loved along; in time they'd resent her for it and even if they'd be willing, they weren't allowed. It cost a lot of money to hide someone and keep an eye on them, and unless the person was in immediate danger, they couldn't be hidden away. Most witnesses who testified simply went about their daily lives afterwards.

There was one other option – not to testify. But Hindley had been captured because of a description she'd given to the police, and he was identified solely because of her. But it wasn't enough, with little to no evidence the police had made it clear that she would have to testify before a jury to have any chance of Hindley going behind bars. If she didn't, and he went free, not only could he always come after her anyway, but Penny was the kind of woman that, if anyone else was killed by the man, she'd feel responsible. She couldn't live with herself if that happened.

* * *

The police man stayed at his post downstairs. He'd wait there for twenty four hours to make sure that no one would come after Penny in the immediate aftermath of Hindley's capture.

She went up to her apartment and put down her purse. Leonard wasn't there. She knew he wouldn't be; he'd gone next door to hang out with Raj and Howard and Sheldon, who knew next to nothing about the crimes, much less Penny's current involvement. She didn't want to draw Leonard away at a time like this, when they had no explanation; she decided later to pretend it was libido. It would arouse teasing from the other guys, but at this point she really didn't care. She marched across the hall and opened the door.

"Hey." The guys chorused their greetings.

Penny eased inside the apartment and stood awkwardly by the door. "Leonard?"

"What's up?" He said, looking up from his laptop and smiling.

"Can I talk to you?" She said, wringing her hands. "Elseware?"

"Yeah," he said, putting the laptop down and rising to join her by the door. "Sure." He followed her out into the hallway. "What's going on?"

She looked at him for a long moment, then turned and entered her apartment. He followed her, and she shut the door. "Okay," she said slowly, coming toward him. She took his hands and looked down at them before rising to meet his eyes. "I talked to the woman from the Department of Justice today. She says that Hindley – that's the guy they caught, and it was him - his conviction is going to depend on my testimony."

"Oh, wow," Leonard said, giving her a broad smile. "You'll be a heroine!" He tried to make his voice sound feminine. "Help us, Penny, you're our only hope!"

She smiled at his mimicry, so similar to her earlier thoughts. But it pained her that he was joking like this, thinking it would be okay and she'd be a heroine, but he didn't know the price.

"Yeah, um…" she moved her thumbs in slow circles. "But." She spoke the word as if it was a sentence in itself; she cut off abruptly because she didn't know how to continue. She looked down at their hands, and then back up at him again. Leonard was looking at her curiously, some amusement was on his face; he clearly didn't expect this to be anything bad. She'd thought long and hard about how to tell him on the drive home, but those plans flew out the window. "They saw the note. He threatened me. They recommended that I go into Witness Protection."

Leonard looked at her for a moment before his face changed. "Whoa."

She nodded. "Yeah."

"So…" he looked slightly to the side. "What are you going to do?"

She shook her head. "I don't know!" She moved over slightly so she could sink down on the couch. "I want to help other women, and make the guy who killed the others pay, but…Witness Protection…"

Leonard sank down next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder. He opened his mouth to speak and was only able to let out a sigh. Penny heard it and echoed with a sigh of her own, leaning to the right to rest her head on her shoulders. They stayed silent for a few minutes before Penny spoke. "I either don't testify and let a murderer stay on the streets, preying on innocent women, or…" She let out a shaky breath. "Or never see you again. Never see anyone again."

Leonard knew what Witness Protection was, but her saying it out loud made his throat constrict slightly. "When do you have to decide by?"

"They want to know by tomorrow," Penny said. "They need to know if I'll testify or not…and if I testify…I'll have to go into the program, or someone would find me."

"I'd take you alive and somewhere else," Leonard said, "than the alternative. Even if we're not together."

She sat up. "You can't tell anyone about this situation. I'm not sure I was supposed to tell you." She sat up straight, looking at him. "The Department of Justice…fourteen hours…What am I going to tell them?"

"I don't know," he said, his heart feeling heavy.

She jumped up. "Do I tell? I should tell. But I can't leave you. I can't leave my family. But those women…what do I do, Leonard?"

He looked up at her as she paced, switching back and forth between opinions. Then she sat back down, shaking her head, looking frantic. "_What do I do_?"

He sighed again, shaking his head slowly. "I…I don't know."

"Leonard!" She said, her voice sounding higher than was normal. "Tell me what to do, please!"

"I can't," he said, knowing that his voice sounded different, too. He stood up, not wanting to be still.

Penny rose, too. "Please!"

"I can't make that decision for you!"

"I can't make it for me, either!"

"It sucks either way!" He shouted. "I can't dictate your life."

"You have to!"

"I can't!"

"Please!"

"Why me?"

"Why _us_?" She asked, her voice cracking on the last word. At that, were silent; they looked at each other and moved quickly until their bodies touched, wrapping their arms around each other and holding on tight. "I have to," she said.

"I know," he whispered, curling his fingers around her hair. "I know you do." He felt her body shake against him, both in anger and sadness although she wasn't yet crying, and he gripped her hair tightly to prevent his own shoulders from wracking in an attempt to hide the weakness in emotion that he wanted to display. It was the right thing to testify, that was a certainty, and if she went on the stand and didn't go into protective custody, she'd likely die at the hands of a Hindley ally.

And as painful as it was for him to admit, he would rather never see her again and know she was safe than live in the constant and real fear that she could be tracked down at murdered should she stay in his life.

She pulled back, moving her hands up from his sides to his neck, cradling his face in her hands. Her eyes were wet; she shook her head slightly as she looked in his eyes. "This isn't the forever I wanted for us," she said, her voice failing her on every other word.

At that, Leonard pressed his lips together to try to hold in his tears; his shoulders started to shake and he stood stiffly, trying to hold himself together. The price he paid for his somewhat-controlled shaking were the tears that silently leaked out his eyes. Penny seemed to be struggling as well, and in a rush she put her lips on his.

He kissed her back, frantically, curling his fists around the back of her shirt and pulling her tightly against him. She held him to her by placing her hands in his hair and not allowing his lips to leave hers. They backed into her room, but they were as desperate as they were hungry for each other, and with the rush of grief weighing them down, when it was over neither of them felt any better. She scooted next to him and he put an arm around her. Penny momentarily thought that now she wouldn't be totally lying when she gave the other guys her excuse for pulling Leonard out of the room.

"So, I'll go in tomorrow," she said as she lay against him, "and I'll tell them that I'll testify."

"How long after," he asked her, "would they take you away?"

They repositioned themselves so they were facing each other, and she took one of his hands in hers. "I'd have protection for 24 hours before the court date, and after that I'd go to a safe house and get training for my new life."

"Your new life," he said quietly. "God, _why_?"

Penny didn't know if his question was rhetorical or if he was actually appealing to a deity, but she took a few shaky breaths as she tried to understand it herself. She didn't think she ever would.

**NOTICE: I AM NOT INVOLVED IN ANY WAY WITH THE UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM. I KNOW NO ONE WORKING WITH THE PROGRAM, I AM NOT IN IT MYSELF, NOR IS ANYONE AROUND ME (TO MY KNOWLEDGE). ANY DETAILS ON THE PROGRAM THAT I HAVE INCLUDED ARE PROMINENTLY DISPLAYED ON THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE'S WEBSITE, OR BY REAL-LIFE STORIES I'VE READ BY PEOPLE WHO CAME OUT OF THE PROGRAM. ANYTHING NOT DISPLAYED ON THE WEBSITE WAS MADE UP BY ME DUE TO NECESSITY. PLEASE DO NOT ACCEPT ANY DETAILS I INCLUDE AS FACT; NOT EVERYTHING IS, EITHER BY LACK OF INFORMATION OR MISCONSTRUCTION ON MY PART.**


	5. Frustration

**Here's the next chapter! Wrote this on my break between study sessions – I hate exams! :D**

**I still don't own anything.**

The following morning, Penny hung up the phone with the agent from the Department of Justice whose number had been given to her by Tompkins. "Okay," she said, sighing and tossing the card on the coffee table. "It's official, I guess."

"Yeah," Leonard said from his spot next to her. His hand was resting on her back, as it had been throughout the telephone conversation in which her voice had cracked three times. "I guess."

She set the phone down and put her hands on her knees, turning her head to the left to see him better. Her hair fell around her face, almost obstructing her eyes but not quite, and she looked sadly at him. "I love you."

There was silence. "Come here," Leonard said, holding his arms out. She scooted over and moved into them, sighing again. She'd been doing a lot of sighing lately. She didn't think this new habit of hers would be stopping anytime soon. He held her close, moving his hand up and down her back. "I love you, too."

She was content to remain in his arms for several minutes longer, and then pulled back, fell backward into the corner of the couch and sighed, tipping her head up to look at the ceiling. "Ugh," she moaned, tapping her fingers on her legs. She tilted her head to the side, and into her vision came her fridge. She couldn't see the photographs on the silver appliance, but she knew they were there. There were pictures of her friends, her family, and pictures of her and Leonard. She always framed her favorites and stuck the other copy on the fridge, so she could see them wherever she was in her apartment.

The thought brought another realization to Penny. This wasn't going to be _her_ apartment anymore. The rooms that had been her home for years would no longer belong to her. Even now, she was renting her home by the month, but it was still her home, and she'd put so much of her life, material and non – material things, in these rooms. And now she'd be leaving this place forever.

She always knew that she'd leave eventually, but she figured it would be when she married, or had kids. Now the thought of marriage and kids caused her eyes to close and another distressed moan to escape her lips.

"Baby," he said, putting a hand on the closest one of hers.

Her mouth hung open slightly in frustration. Another sigh. She should call Guinness.

Then her eyes flew open. "I need to call my parents." She looked at Leonard. "Do you have a web cam?"

"Do _they_ have a web cam?"

Penny thought. She really wasn't sure. Then she nodded. "Christmas present last year." She looked at Leonard. "You still haven't answered my question."

"What was your question again?" He asked after a moment.

"Do you have a web cam?"

"Do _I_ have a web cam?" Leonard asked, feigning incredulousness.

She slapped his shoulder playfully. "Can you go and get it?"

"Yeah." He got up and left the apartment.

Penny shifted her weight on the couch, crossing a leg over the other and holding her lower leg with both hands. She looked around the apartment. "It's been real," she told it, and then blinked. _I just talked to my apartment. What the…?_

Leonard returned with his laptop, and he set it on the coffee table and waited while Penny brushed her hair. "Sweetie," he called. "You look fine."

"That's the problem," she called back. "I know what you mean by 'just fine'."

"I didn't say _just_ fine!" He called back, smiling.

She appeared then, smiling, and came over to the couch. She'd run the brush through her hair so it fell neatly. "I don't want to look like a mess," she said.

"You never look like a-"

"You're so sweet," she cut in, with a touch of sarcasm in her voice. "But you know how parents are, when they see you're upset it makes them more upset."

Leonard frowned. "Why?"

Penny did a timid double take toward him, remembering that he really _didn't_ know. "You know how when I'm sad, you say that you get down, too?" He nodded. "Well, why?" Leonard furrowed his brow. "Leonard, it's not anything to analyze. Just why?"

"Because knowing you're sad…_oh_."

She nodded. "They'll be upset, but knowing, well, _seeing_ how much it's killing _me_ will make it worse. Just like it does for you."

"That makes sense," he said. "Though let me remind you that now it is you comparing our relationship with each other to the one we have with our parents."

Penny made a face and leaned over the computer to call her parents. She smiled when her father's face appeared. "Hey slugger," he said, smiling.

"Hey daddy," she said, trying to smile and succeeding this time. "Is mom around?"

"What, you don't want to talk to your old man?"

"It's not that, it's…"

Her father didn't let her finish. He'd seen Leonard's shoulder in the edge of the camera. "Leonard! My boy! How are you? Why doesn't Penny want to talk to me?"

Leonard scooted into view, smiling at Wyatt. "Hi, Wyatt. I'm okay. She does want to talk to you." He knew that Wyatt was joking, but for some reason he felt the need to emphasize that fact. "But is her mom around?"

"No, she's actually in Iowa visiting a sick friend of hers. But you two can talk to _me_." Wyatt leaned forward in the chair, smiling. He looked way to eager to speak to them; clearly Penny hadn't video chatted with him in a while, if ever. Leonard opted to believe the latter since she hadn't been sure if he even had the technology. "What's up?"

Penny leaned forward, taking hold of the laptop in both hands. "Daddy, I have something to tell you, and you're not going to like it. At all."

Wyatt began to look concerned. "Okay. Remember, I just want you to be honest with me."

"It's not like that. Not something I did. I mean…it _is_, but it's a good thing. A good thing with bad results."

"Just spill it out," Leonard said under his breath.

Penny glanced at him and realized he was right; she needed to stop beating around the bush. She turned back to the screen and told her dad everything.

She managed to hold in her tears until she told him that she'd agreed to testify and go into witness protection. Then tears had leaked out and Leonard had slid his arms around her shoulders, holding them still so she could keep a decent composure for her father.

"Sweetie," he said to her, reaching a hand forward until it went out of sight at the bottom of the screen. "You're such a brave woman. You're doing the right thing." He paused, and then looked up again, tears in his own eyes. "And I'm not going to lie; we'll miss you like hell, but damn, am I proud of you!"

She wiped tears away from her eyes. "Thanks, daddy."

* * *

Wyatt sat in the folding chair, watching his daughter via the computer. Technology was really incredible these days.

He'd never cried in front of her, unless crying at her birth counted. Despite being a girl – a disappointment to him for a while; he was shamed to admit – she was his daughter, and he had wept then. Since then, no matter how things pained him, he'd never cried in front of his family. That was a weakness, and the generations of Nebraskan farmers that were his ancestors had learned to be hardened to emotions, at least on the outside.

But now he was finding it difficult to stop his eyes from growing damp. Not only was he going to lose his daughter – not only was his wife and his son and other daughter losing her, too, but she was going to give up her home, the life she'd created for herself, and all of her friends.

And as he watched Leonard hold her in an attempt to help her keep it together in front of Wyatt, it was all the more evident how much they loved each other. And they were going to lose that, too; something that some people search their whole lives for and never find. And the whole damn witness thing just wasn't fair.

A few minutes later, Wyatt said good-bye to Penny, promising to call once her mother came home. He smiled at her, told her he loved her, and shut the laptop down.

And he spun around and drove his fist into the wall.

**No, not much happened, but Wyatt's going to be in the fic quite a bit and I just wanted to introduce him here.**


	6. Packing and Talking

**Okay! Sorry this is long, I had a bunch of bits typed up and I added some more today and figured that they could go together. So here it is!**

**DISCLAIMER: I still don't own anything that's been on T.V.!**

It was four months between the arrest of Hindley and the trial. During that time, Penny flew out to see her parents, leaving Leonard behind at home. She'd asked if he wanted to go with her, but he said no, she needed her only role to be Daughter the last time she saw them. She'd pointed out that they'd never done it on a plane yet; he pointed out that as awesome as that would be, if they were caught it would probably make news and right now that was the last thing they wanted. So she'd packed a bag and left for a week.

The time she was gone was hard on Leonard. He wasn't the type of boyfriend who couldn't go a week without seeing his girlfriend; he always knew that they couldn't be together twenty four seven and it didn't kill him. But this time he knew there wouldn't always be another day, and knowing that their time together was rapidly counting down to zero made an entire week without her feel like hell. He'd have to spend the rest of his life without her. He didn't want to have an extra week alone. It…well, sucked.

The rest of the time leading up to the trial, Penny spent as much time as she could with Leonard, Sheldon, Raj, Howard, Bernadette, and Amy. A few times Howard made comments about how she was suddenly willing to spend time with them, but she said she was just less tense because she'd gotten a raise. They'd bought it, and she was grateful that nerds, at least these nerds, were so gullible.

* * *

Two weeks before she was to testify Penny had gone to Bernadette's house and told her everything. Her friend had stared at her with wide eyes before asking if there was any other way. "No," Penny had said, shaking her head. "I'm dead if I testify and don't leave."

Bernadette had nodded sadly. "I guess you want me to help Leonard out of any situations he may get into when the guys make regards about your whereabouts?"

Penny offered a smile. "That would be good, actually."

The microbiology student smiled back. "I've got your back. "

* * *

"I have to pack," Penny said to Leonard a few evenings before the trial after Raj and Howard had gone to the comic book store with Sheldon. "I'm allowed to bring some things with me. Not a lot, but…some stuff."

"Like what?" He asked her, turning off the television. They were watching the sixth season of _Sex and the City_.

"Like some clothes, a few of my stuffed animals, books. Just nothing that can be connected to my past life. Like anything that someone could see and figure out who I really am."

"Do you want to do that tonight?" he asked.

"I want you to do it with me," she said.

"Okay." Leonard stood up, and followed her into her room. She put her favorite clothes into a suitcase, along with some of her jewelry. She picked up _Eat, Pray, Love_ and tucked it in the side, next to her red flowered dress. Her hand lingered on the baseball equipment that her father had sent her a few Christmases ago, picked up the mitt, and made it fit in the suitcase. After forcing it closed, she sat down on the bed and put her face in her hands. She felt the bed sink lower as Leonard sat next to her. He didn't speak; she couldn't have answered anyway.

After a few minutes, Penny got up and moved to open the second travel case, putting in books, movies, the movie with Sandra Bullock's autograph. She picked up a picture frame, the center occupied by a photograph of her and Leonard. She was in her blue dress, which was alongside the red one in her first bag. He was in his tan jacket with the orange hood; she had an arm around his neck and he had one around her waist, their other two arms met up by their necks to join hands. She had had this copy framed; the other was tacked up on her fridge. She knew that this memory was one that she couldn't bring along, so she turned and pressed it to Leonard's chest with both hands. His hands came up to hold it there, on top of her own.

She turned back around and picked up what was one of her most precious possessions – what she considered the first token of love that Leonard had ever given her, even though it was months before he'd professed such feelings. There was no way that she could leave it behind; she'd slip it out on her person if she had to. Now, she trusted that the Department of Justice wouldn't deem it unsafe and slipped it into the case of one of her DVDs.

"Is that everything?" Leonard asked her nearly an hour later, surveying the three filled suitcases that were lined up next to her bed.

She nodded, then shook her head. "Can I have one of your pillows?" She asked, looking over at him as they sat on the foot of the bed. "I want to remember how you smell."

He slid his arm around her. "Of course you can," he said tenderly, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

* * *

The night before the trial, before Penny was to leave, she lay in bed with Leonard, her fingers tangled up in his shirt, his arms around her. Neither of them had spoken in the last hour or so.

The last night. That had been hanging over their heads all day, as they went about their business as usual. It was surrounding them as they played Halo with Raj and Howard. It had caused her to hug both of them before they left, telling them that she loved them like family. The next day she would testify, and then she'd come home and leave the following morning. So true, it wasn't the _last_ night, but the night before she left there would be three people in the apartment, making sure nothing happened to her before she'd had a chance to vanish. So it was the last night of privacy.

And knowing that in forty eight hours her life would be torn from her made Penny sick with anxiety and sadness. She'd lost twenty pounds that she didn't need to lose in the past three weeks. It was taking a toll on her, and she had to hide it. She couldn't tell anyone else about it. But it was changing her; something she hadn't realized until she'd spent the afternoon thinking about it.

It had caused her to ask Sheldon for a hug. "Why?" He'd asked her.

"Just because," she'd said, holding out her arms. Sheldon had awkwardly tried to return the embrace, and his willingness to hug her even without 'reasonable cause' made her want to cry. She remembered when he was leaving for Bozeman, and she knew she'd miss him. Well now, she was leaving Leonard, him, Howard, Raj, Bernadette, Amy, Cheryl, and all of her family. At least Sheldon hadn't denied her that last hug, in all his ignorance.

Penny and Leonard gone into the hallway later that night, on their way back to her apartment. Halfway across the hall, Penny'd spun around and thrown her arms around Leonard, holding him so tightly it would have hurt had he not been as anguished as she was. He'd put his arms around her in a similar grip, and they'd stood like that for an amount of time that neither could tell. "I'm never letting you go," Penny'd said in a pained voice.

Now they were in her bed, holding each other as close as possible. Penny hadn't again voiced how different their forever was now from where they'd expected, but she'd thought of it often and she knew that Leonard did too.

This was forever. Not their relationship, no, this one seemed not fated to stand the test of time. But it was to no fault of their own; there wasn't a deal-breaker that made them incompatible. They were being ripped apart, and the worst part was that they _could_, technically, stay together. But that would be putting Penny's life in danger, and they didn't want to risk her safety. And when one witnesses a murder, there is a price to pay for safety.

"Leonard?" She whispered, tilting her head up slightly even though at the angle she still couldn't see him.

"Hmmm?" He responded, letting his hand slide up and down her arm.

"I love you."

She saw his other hand go up to his face, and she shifted to see him, his fingers pressing into his eyes in an attempt to block the tears. She knew he was embarrassed to be crying so often in front of her. "Baby," she said, a hand going up to pull his away from his eyes. She curled her fingers into his palm, and he closed his fist around her hand as best as he could. "Baby, don't."

"I'm sorry," he said, kissing her hand, and using his other arm, which was around her shoulders, to pull her on her side and closer to him. "I…just…"

"I know," she said, sighing.

They'd run out of things to say to one another. There were only so many times that one could say "I love you more than anything," and "I wish we didn't have to spend our lives apart," and they'd far surpassed that number tonight. Then again, when you had more than half a century still to live and you had to live it without the one you loved, maybe there was no maximum number.

When she and Leonard had talked earlier, he'd tried to make it sound better. "Most people don't know when they're going to lose a loved one. At least we get to say good-bye, and you'll be alive, wherever you are."

"I wish you could at least know the state," she had said. "And I won't be able to have a Twitter account or anything…"

"Here," Leonard had responded. "Once a week, go to a library or something and go onto my page in the university website. My link to my blog? Read it. You'll know how we're doing. And if there's something important I have to tell you, I'll code it, spell it out with the first letters of each sentence. Okay?"

"I don't know if the Justice Department would like that," she'd said, feeling slightly better at the thought of hearing from him.

"It won't be 'meet me here on this day at this time," Leonard had said. "It could be 'Howard and Bernadette are on vacation.' Just if it's something I wouldn't normally put on that page. Just so you know what we're doing."

"Okay," she'd said, looking down at their entwined hands.

Penny now shifted her weight again so she could rest her head on his chest. "You know I'm okay with you dating." She blurted.

Leonard looked surprised. "I won't," he said.

"No, stop." She sat up. "If in ten years you meet someone that you like, I don't want you to think back to your girlfriend a decade ago who you'll never see again. I want you to do whatever you want, okay? You're not cheating on me. I want you to be happy."

Leonard looked at her. "Are you saying you want to break up?"

She felt the tears come up again. "I don't _want_ to break up. But…if we stay together…well, what's the point? We won't ever be physically close again. And I want you to be able to love again should you get the opportunity."

He looked at her for a long moment. "And I want the same for you."

She shook her head. "No. I'll never love another person as long as I live."

"Penny," he said, sitting up himself, "you may meet someone too, in that decade in the future. And I want _you_ to be happy."

"So…" she bit her lip. "Does this mean we _are_ breaking up?"

He sighed. "How about we're together until you leave. No breakup. But…you know, if we ever do meet someone else…it just won't be cheating. Deal?"

"Deal, honey," she said, leaning over to kiss him. When the kiss ended, they pulled back slightly, looking at each other.

Leonard broke the gaze first, closing his eyes and using his hand to reach behind her back and draw her against him. "God, I love you."

She buried her head in his chest, feeling his fingers run through her hair.

**The actual trial will be the next chapter, and probably the good-bye, too. It may be up tonight; if not it will be tomorrow. Promise!**


	7. Final  Everything

**Okay! Here's the next chapter! Then I'm done with what I already have written, at least for this point in the story. The next chapter still needs to be written, and then updates will come faster again because after that comes more of what I already have done.**

"We call to the stand Miss Penny…"

The rest of her name was spoken to the courthouse, but Penny didn't hear it. She felt nervous, jumpy even, as she stood up. She was wearing what she'd worn to Sheldon's court date, but on her way to the courthouse she'd wondered if that had been a good idea. Last time, she'd had to sit in the car while she waited for Sheldon to apologize to the judge.

She moved up to the witness stand and raised her right hand when asked, swearing to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. As she promised, she almost smiled at the wording of what they asked her. They certainly didn't leave any doors open, that's for sure!

"Now, can you tell us where you were on the night of the fourteenth of March at about nine-thirty at night?

"Yes," Penny said, swallowing. She'd been told by one of the state attorneys how to answer questions, be clear and to the point. "I was driving my car down the highway, about two blocks north of the Cheesecake Factory where I work."

"The address?" Penny recited it. "Good." The attorney smiled. "Now, what did you see when you stopped near the McDonald's?"

"I'd stopped at a red light and my gaze wandered across the street. I saw a man trying to heave something in a garbage bag into the dumpster."

"And did you notice anything specific about this man?"

"Yes." Penny said. "He had a large red tattoo on his back. And he was very thin."

"How sure are you about the tattoo."

"Positive," she said. "It was large and took up his entire back."

The attorney smiled. "Thank you. That will be all."

Penny relaxed for only a moment; she then remembered that Hindley's lawyer had the right to ask her questions. The lawyer was Gideon Carver, and he was good. One of the best there was in the area, she'd been told.

"I'd like to know how far you were from the man you saw by the dumpster," he asked her, gesturing to the map on a screen next to her. Her car was already placed with a red X on the map.

Penny pointed. "Right here, sir."

"That's quite a long way to distinguish a person. Did you see his face?"

Penny shook her head. "No."

"And it was dark, was it not?" Carver asked her.

Penny nodded. "It was dark. I could only see from the street light."

"So," Carver said, "is it not possible that you misidentified my client?"

Hindley, who'd been calmly regarding Penny throughout the testimony, now shot her a glare. She saw it, swallowed hard, and answered. "I did not mistake the tattoo. I can say with absolute certainty that that was him."

* * *

"So…" she asked the attorney later, after the day had wrapped up. "How is that…going to go?"

"We found some partial prints, so that helps," said the detective standing near the lawyer. "I think we'll get him, even Carver doesn't have much to go on."

"He doesn't have much of anything," said the lawyer, nodding in agreement. "The strongest piece of evidence on either side is your testimony."

Penny smiled. "Glad I could help."

"Hey! You!"

The three of them turned to look toward the voice, coming from down the hall. Hindley was being escorted back to his holding cell in handcuffs. "You watch yourself, lady! You watch yourself!"

Penny opened her mouth to respond; she didn't get the chance. Agent Tompkins had appeared, grabbed her by the shoulders, and moved her down the hall, into a room, and out of site of the criminal.

"Did it go well today?" Penny asked her.

"Good enough," said Tompkins. "But we had three letters arrive at the station today for our involvement. We need to get you hidden. I'm sending the three agents home with you; you'll leave at seven in the morning tomorrow."

* * *

"We'll be taking you to train for your new life," said Denise, the agent sent to get Penny, the following morning. "And within a week or so you should be on your way to building a new identity for yourself. You understand?" At Penny's nod, she smiled gently. "Are you ready to go? Do you have your bags? Walter will take them out for you."

Penny let Walter take her bags and she turned toward Leonard. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She felt his hands go to her waist and rest there, and she cocked her head ever so slightly, trying to speak again and again failing. They looked at each other for another moment, capturing how the other one looked in their minds, and then they both leaned in, their hands going to each other's sides and their lips meeting in between.

They held like that, standing together, for a long time, trying to engrain into their minds how the other one felt and tasted, and smelled, and just how well they fit together and, when they broke apart and looked into each other's eyes, just how much they loved each other. "I'm going to miss you…" she said, needing to try hard to breathe, "_so_ much."

He drew a hand up to her face. "You try real hard to enjoy yourself, wherever you go, okay?" She could hear his voice cracking with each word, but he kept the tears in. "And know that I love you so much, and I'll always be thinking about you. I promise."

Penny's throat constricted, she had to suck in air. "Leonard," she said, "I was never going to break up with you again."

"I know," he said, pulling her toward him for one last kiss.

She smiled when it ended, and followed Denise to the door. She turned in the threshold, reaching out a hand to grip one of Leonard's and squeeze it. "I love you," he said again, gripping her hand tightly.

"I love you too." She backed away slowly, not letting go until distance made contact impossible.

She didn't say good-bye. Neither did he. The words were sad enough to be appropriate, but to say it out loud would make it worse. Because they'd said good-bye many times before, but not like this.

This was forever.


	8. Lonusedi

**Oh, having no homework on a weekend is just a wonderful thing! It means I can write-a lot! So here's the next chapter, and I may even have another one posted tonight. It depends.**

**I still own nobody that you recognize from television. I guess I own all the random police officers, but it's not like I have to put much effort into them. :D**

"So you want to be Penny Morey?" said Sheila, looking over at Penny from the computer.

"Yes," she said. She hadn't put too much thought into the last name; at first she felt she was wielding some sort of power by being able to choose her new name, even though the people in charge suggested she at least keep her first name. She would have anyway, but for some reason that comment made her choose Morey as her last name rather quickly; he'd been her favorite author in the…one of the elementary grades. "Is that okay?"

"Yes," said the agent, "that's fine. We have no one else in the system by that name." She typed in a few words. "What birthday, do you want?"

"September twenty-first," she said without hesitation. That got tapped into the computer as well. After a few more questions, Penny had a new name, a new birth certificate, and a new social security number. "So, where am I going?" She asked.

"Right there," Sheila said, pointing to a spot on the paper that she'd slid in front of Penny.

"Lonusedi?" Penny asked, unsure if she'd pronounced it correctly.

"Yes." Sheila nodded.

"Where's that?"

"In Michigan. The Upper Penninsula."

"That's…" Penny shook her head. "So far away." She sighed. "Where will I live? What will I do?"

"We've got a job lined up for you at the mall," Sheila said, "and you can rent a small house that's owned by an eldery man who can't keep it up anymore-it's in a hilly area and he prefers to stay in his house up in the Keweenaw. He'll rent it to you cheap-you should have no problem making do."

"Okay," Penny said, giving a deep sigh. "Thank you. When do I fly out?"

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," Penny repeated, pushing a hand through her hair. She'd been preparing for this, mentally and emotionally, for months, but everything still seemed to be moving so fast. Too fast. And this time, when she got stressed to the point of a breakdown, the people who meant the most to her wouldn't be there to help her out. She couldn't even call them.

* * *

The following afternoon, Penny drove with an agent from the airport in Green Bay, Wisconsin across the border into Michigan. He gave her the basic run down of the town she'd be living in. Lonusedi was not a large town; it wasn't consisting of three hundred people, either. Its population was listed in the previous census as about five thousand; it had four elementary schools, and two middle and high schools. There was a small college thirty miles away. The mall in which Penny was slated to work was four miles from her home, a four room cabin on the hillside. The cabin would have minimal furniture in it already; the owner had his own fancy house in the Keweenaw and didn't need what would be found in the cabin.

The car turned down a road that headed into a wooded area, Penny wondered where the hell she'd be living. She'd been brought up in a fairly rural area, but it was the plains, not the woods. But she did smile when the car turned a corner and she saw the small cabin. It had a homey feel to it, even from the outside. "I think I can work with this," she commented to the agent.

"Hope so," he said, cracking a smile.

When Elias, the agent, left the house and headed to the local police to confirm that the witness had arrived safely, Penny surveyed her new home.

The door opened into the living room, a small area furnished only with a love seat and a rug and a tiny television. From the living room, the door on the right took one to the bathroom; heading to the left led to a kitchen – dining area that was smaller than Penny's old bedroom. From the front door, she could see only the unpaved road between the trees, leading the three miles into town. From the windows in the living room, she could see only trees and cliffs.

In the kitchen was a ladder that led to a hole in the roof of the first floor, or the second floor- which consisted solely of the bedroom. Penny was horrified to discover that the 'bed' was a hammock, then remembered how cheap the rent was; she _was _simply living in a home whose owner wanted to spend more time in Copper Harbor, where he no doubt had a bigger house…and a bed.

She dropped her suitcases on the floor by the closet and fell into the hammock, letting it swing as her body weight dropped onto it and disrupted the way it hung.

It was lonely here. But Penny didn't really mind. The setting was appropriate for this chapter in the story of the woman who was now Penny Morey. Mall worker. Chicago Native.

Before Penny dozed off, the last thought that went through her mind was of when she'd watched _Attack of the Clones_ with Leonard and had rolled her eyes at Padmé and Anaking agreeing to "live a lie".

But hey, they'd kept "college dropout". But that didn't exactly make her feel better.

* * *

"I got the food!" Leonard said, attempting to make himself sound cheerful as he entered the door with the bag.

"About time," Sheldon said, looking exasperated. "We're scheduled to start Halo Night in twenty-minutes; we'll have to adjust Bathroom Time."

"It'll be fine," Leonard said, setting the bag down. He pulled the cartons of food out of it and handed them out. "Bernadette…Raj…Howard…Sheldon, diced, good mustard, low sodium soy sauce."

"Thank you," Sheldon said.

"When's Penny coming?" Howard asked, swallowing a bite of food.

Leonard started, suddenly lost for words. He and Penny had talked about this; he was to tell them that she'd gone home to Nebraska to help care for her mother, who was incredibly sick. She'd rehearsed this with him; said he was a much better learner than Sheldon, too – but he suddenly found himself tongue tied.

Bernadette shifted her weight. "She's gone home to Nebraska," she said to Howard. "Her mother's in really bad shape and with her father having to split his time between caring for her and keeping the farm up, Penny decided to go home for a while to help them out."

"Oh," Howard said, looking down at his carton of food to direct his fork to another piece of meat. Bernadette glanced at him, then looked over at Leonard and raised her eyebrows, giving him a quick nod before going back to her food.

"What was that?" Sheldon asked.

"What was what?" Bernadette and Leonard asked at the same time.

"That look. Bernadette, you looked at Leonard and raised your eyebrows."

"Sheldon," Bernadette said, rolling her eyes. "I was just stretching my face."

Leonard had to try very hard not to spit the water he was drinking across the coffee table. Raj and Howard turned to look at Bernadette in confusion. Sheldon's confused look outdid everyone else's. "Stretching your face?"

"…yes," Bernadette said. "Sometimes my face aches, and so I stretch it by raising eyebrows."

"That never happens to me," Sheldon said.

"Me either," Howard said. Raj shook his head.

Leonard was about to interject and say that it was a perfectly normal exercise and he did it all the time, but Bernadette saying "It's a…girl thing," after a moment of awkward silence stopped Leonard from making the comment.

"Ah," said Howard and Sheldon in unison, buying the microbiology student's lie.

Leonard had remained silent in that conversation on purpose. Did Bernadette know? She'd fed Howard, Sheldon, and Raj the same story that Penny had instructed Leonard to tell…but was Penny telling too many people? Already, Wyatt, his wife, Leonard, and Bernadette knew. Leonard had no idea how many others she'd told, nor did he know what number the USDJ deemed 'too many'.

A second later, Leonard dismissed his worry. Bernadette was one of Penny's closest friends, they kept in almost constant contact by text message and had Girls Night once a week. She was an important figure in the Nebraskan's life, and it would be logical to have thought that Penny would tell her. Leonard knew that part of his concern was jealousy-the more people that knew, the less 'privileged' he was to possess the information. He hated having had the thought – he knew that Penny loved him and would have told him no matter how many people were allowed. She would have told him if she'd been forbidden to tell anyone.

It was one hell of a woman that Leonard Hofstadter had loved and lost.

* * *

_ "When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you. And when you're gone the face I came to know is missing too." - Avril Lavigne_


	9. Adjustment

**Woot! Second chapter in a day! My record for one day is three, but I doubt that will happen...I kinda want to work on the fic that I've got 25,000 words written for but haven't published yet, just because I haven't touched it in almost two weeks. But then again...hmmm. Well, I'll be writing for the next two or three hours; not sure how much I'll get done!**

**And thank you to all my reviewers so far! Glad you're all enjoying it!**

* * *

"_Turn the lights out in the city, and wake up in a new hometown." – Sara Evans_

* * *

Penny woke up the following morning and instantly remembered that she was in a new hometown. For one thing, it was pitch black; her room back in Pasadena was always at least dimly lit. For another thing, she was cold-it was very early in the morning in the Northern part of the country and she had no blanket around her, no warm clothes on her, and no warm body beside her. It was different.

Different sucked.

Penny reached into her pocket and checked her new phone. It was one in the morning in Pasadena; three o' clock in Central Time. _That's the price I pay for falling asleep at four in the afternoon,_ she thought. She'd been so worn out from crying and traveling that even going to bed alone for the first time in months hadn't stopped her from being out cold minutes after sinking into the hammock. She figured it was just as well; a lot of sleepless nights undoubtedly lay ahead.

What was she supposed to do for the next…however many hours? When did people wake up in this place? Penny had been told that she'd start her job at ten, "go to the end of your road, turn left, and then keep true until you see the mall." Thanks to the guys, she knew that 'keep true' meant 'go straight'. It shouldn't be too hard to find her work.

Penny used the light from her phone to find the bedroom light-a bulb on the ceiling that one could turn on by pulling a string. With the tiny loft illuminated, Penny was able to find her suitcases. She took her clothes out one by one and hung them in the closet, jumping and letting out a squeal as a mouse skittered across the floor. "Oh, my God," she said, putting a hand to her chest. She wasn't afraid of mice, but when they startled her, she could sure act like it. "How many of your brothers and sisters are hiding around this house?" Penny asked of the long – gone mouse. "I should get a broom."

She pulled out the red dress and slid it onto a hanger, then reached for the blue one. These clothes had so damn many memories printed on them. Penny suddenly reached for the red dress and made sure that the small photograph she'd tucked into the somewhat complicated top was still there. She drew it out, sighing in relief. The tiny, barely two inches square photograph of her and Leonard smiled up at her in the dim light. She looked around the room, noticing a crack in the wooden wall, running horizontal. She slipped the picture into it, leaving a corner so she could withdraw it when she wanted to.

She turned off the light and headed down the ladder – no wonder the older guy didn't want to live here anymore – and found herself in the dining area. On a counter was a small refrigerator, about the size of the ones in motels, and the table had only one chair. It made Penny sigh. She continued into the living room and sat down on the couch, alone in the dark.

* * *

At ten after nine Penny went outside, having realized a few minutes before that she didn't have a car yet. Then she remembered that Elias had left her with a mountain bike. "Such a primitive way of traveling," she said as she swung a leg over to the other side. She pushed off with her foot…and ended up hopping as she attempted to stay on her feet. "Note to self," she said, "raise kickstand."

She reorganized herself and headed off down the road. It was a chilly day, but jeans and a short sleeved top were more than enough when the exertion of riding a bike for half a mile on a slight incline was factored into the equation.

Stopping for a pant – break at the top of the hill made Penny arrive at the mall with only a few minutes to spare. She put the front wheel of the bike in the bike rack by the entrance, stopping to view the building with curiosity. It wasn't like any mall she'd ever seen. The sign out front had no recognizable store names.

"Where am I supposed to get my clothes?" Penny wondered aloud.

"We have clothes," said a cheerful voice from behind her. Penny turned around to see a brunette girl wearing jeans and a navy blue shirt that said "Lonusedi Mall" on it. "Some great stuff, too. I take it you've never been to Bohr's?"

"Like the scientist?" Penny asked.

The girl looked confused. "What? No, the clothing store."

"Bohr's?" Penny repeated.

The girl's face, which had been frowning, now brightened visibly. "You're the out – of – towner!" She stuck out her hand. "I'm Brandy."

"Penny," Penny said awkwardly, putting her hand in the girl's and shaking it. "Morey," she added.

"Nice to meet you! And we're so going to get you shopping at Bohr's," Brandy said. "And we need to get you a shirt. I'm twenty, how old are you?"

"Twenty – five," Penny said. "So…" she said, in an attempt to get back to a conversation that she felt she could safely have, "you work here?"

"Yep! For three years now. I'm supposed to direct you to where you'll be working today."

"Bohr's?" Penny guessed. She couldn't tell Brandy lest she ask why, but it would make Penny both happy and sad to work in a store called Bohr's.

"Not today, but some days you might. We have twelve different stores, and eighteen customer service employees. We move around. Today you're at Iron Mike's."

"What's that?" Penny asked.

"You're selling tools. Is that okay, for a big – city girl like you?"

"Chicago is hardly a big city," Penny said, brushing off the comment. "And I'm fine with selling tools, as long as someone's there to help me."

"I'll be supervising you today – do you know how to work a cash register?" At Penny's nod, Brandy smiled. "Good. You'll do better than Shelly, that's for sure!"

"Shelly?" Penny said, her voice sounding different. Brandy gave her an odd look. "Sorry," she said, scrambling for a lie to cover her reaction. "I roomed with a Shelly in college."

"What was her last name?" Brandy asked.

"Um…" Penny struggled to come up with a fake name. "Anderson."

Brandy's jaw dropped. "Oh my gosh!" She pulled a radio from its hook on her belt. "Shells! Come to Iron Mike's!"

_No. Freaking. Way. _Penny thought. What were the odds of a completely fabricated Shelly Anderson matching the name of a girl who worked at this Lonusedi mall? If she was back in California, she could have simply posed the question and Sheldon and Leonard would have figured it out.

And now she kind of wanted to figure it out.

Brandy walked just ahead of Penny as they walked down the hallway – _what kind of mall is one hallway?_ – and came to the second shop from the end on the right. Iron Mike's. A somewhat heavy African – American girl about Penny's height was standing by the cash register. Thankfully, Penny didn't recognize her; knowing her luck today they'd have been best friends back in Omaha.

"No, that's not her," Penny said, feigning sadness with a shrug and sigh. "There must be more Shelly Anderson's in the world."

"Aw." Brandy looked disappointed. "Anyway…Shelly! This is Penny Morey, the new girl. New to the town, too."

"Nice to meet you," said Shelly, smiling. She was in the same Navy blue Lonusedi shirt and jeans, but she had silver dangling earrings in her ears, with studs running up her earlobe. Penny would have never had the guts to get that many piercings. "Is Brandy showing you around?"

"Yeah, she is," Penny said. She put on a friendly smile; she felt weird being taught by people clearly younger than she was – Brandy was twenty – and clearly not as smart as her old circle of friends – Shelly was clearly younger than Brandy and still the energetic brunette thought she could have roomed with Penny – but at the same time, she'd found friendly people in this strange new place.

"Oh, brave new world," she muttered.

* * *

Bernadette was working the bar at the Cheesecake Factory when Leonard walked in, saw her, and came up to the counter. "Shots."

Bernadette nodded, pouring one and sliding it across the table. Leonard always came in for shots when he was too upset to simply immerse himself in his work. He always came in when Bernadette was working because she knew when to cut him off.

Leonard tipped his head back and took the shot. "You know?"

She poured him another. "Yes."

He looked down at the shot. "I figured. It makes sense."

"Not Sheldon?"

"No."

"That's probably smart."

She gave him one last shot. "You know I'm always here to talk to. And I can relate, somewhat."

"Somewhat," he agreed. Bernadette reached across the bar counter and squeezed his hand. She knew that losing a friend wasn't as deep a wound as losing someone with whom you shared romantic love, but she and Leonard could relate to each other more than anyone else in the world.

They, like the other guys, knew that Penny was gone. But unlike the others, they knew that she wasn't coming back.


	10. One Hundred Dollars

****

Okay, new update! This I've had written for a while; soon we'll get to see how she adjusts and him too, as well as how her leaving affects the rest of the guys, but we're still getting through the initial separation right now. Hopefully this chapter successfully establishes how Penny's starting to get around the town.

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing that you recognize.**

By the end of Penny's first day at work, she was exhausted. Ten to six shifts were nothing like the four hour ones she'd been used to at the restaurant, and trying to keep up with such energetic people drained her of all the excess energy. Shelly and Brandy had asked her if she wanted to go to the local diner with them, but she'd politely excused herself, feigning a headache and telling the truth about the exhaustion. She was glad that home was downhill the last half-mile.

Upon her return home, Penny was happy to discover some more of her old belongings waiting in boxes at the door. She was especially thrilled to see her laptop-even though the memory had been completely wiped; it wasn't long before she'd logged on to the internet and accessed Leonard's Twitter account.

_Chinese food with DrCooper Wolowizard RRKoothraparty Bernadette86 as per usual._

_I have a great new picture for my dresser…don't know that I'll ever love a picture more._

Penny closed out of the page after noticing that the third most recent tweet had been made the week before, when she was still with him. She wiped her eyes, letting out a deep sigh and closing the laptop. She knew that he wouldn't update his university page until the following day, but she wondered if she should even look at it. Was it a simple way of ensuring that all of her friends were still okay, or would she be torturing herself to look at it?

Maybe it was just better to forget and move on. Penny decided that it was.

Less than a minute later, she was back online, checking to see if the 'available for rent' ad was still up for apartment 4B on her old building's website. Seeing that it was, she breathed a sigh of relief. A shell of her still existed in Pasadena. A shell of the real Penny.

Penny typed in the university's website and found Leonard's blog. Most of what he'd entered for that day was completely general, but Penny ate it up. They were words written by the man she loved, the man she'd left behind to pursue safety, and she was grateful for even the most common sentences. It made her regret never reading the blog before. Then, at the end, one lone sentence stood out, a paragraph by itself, just below a section on the potential of the new grad students.

_On another note, I am very glad that Mr. Wolowitz's girl friend, a student at another university, has joined my group of friends. We have more in common than I thought, as I discovered today._

Leonard had known Bernadette for a year. There was little he didn't know about he already, and his words could only mean one thing.

They knew that the other knew that Penny was in the Witness Protection Problem. And even though Penny knew that they'd find out from each other eventually, getting conformation like that, from way too many miles away oh – so discreetly, made Penny smile; she was learning things about her old home and her old friends.

Penny shut the laptop and turned it off, heading up the ladder to bed. She pulled on her Hello Kitty shorts and crawled into the hammock, but tonight she couldn't just fall asleep. She wasn't cold, not really, and the hammock was actually very comfortable. But she was alone. And the one that was usually with her would never lay at her side again.

Penny crawled out of the hammock and found the quilt from her old bed and Leonard's pillow. Holding the items in her arms, she lay back down and pulled the quilt around her. She put the pillow behind her head, and then changed her mind, holding it against her chest and burying her fact in it.

It was the closest she'd ever get.

* * *

Within the next two weeks, Penny got a bed moved up into the loft, and she got her computer permanently set up in the living room, where she figured she'd spend most of her time when she wasn't working. And she was working a lot. She got one day off a week, and it wasn't the day that either Brandy, Shelly, or Caroline, a blonde so dumb it bordered stereotypical, weren't working. On her first day off, she'd holed up in her house, re – reading _Eat, Pray, Love_ and watching all that she could fit in of the six seasons of _Sex and the City_ – at least until the Witness Protection agent showed up for their weekly check in. Then she had to stop-right in the middle of her favorite episode, too. Damn program.

Her second day off, eight days later, she'd decided to explore the town and had come home balancing a bag of fish on her bike handlebars. She put them in a large glass bowl she'd found in one of the cupboards and then remembered that she'd forgotten to buy food. That had sent her back into town, where she'd met Victor, a man in his thirties who worked at the pet store. At first, she'd thought he was hitting on her, and had been so disinterested that she'd feared that she was rude in her attempts to discourage him. Then, in conversation, he'd mentioned that he'd just gotten engaged. Penny took her fish food and went home, glad that she didn't have to deal with anyone expressing interest in her. She could cut herself off from her old life completely, but there was no off switch on her heart, and it still belonged to Leonard. She just didn't know what kind of excuse she'd throw to anyone who would end up hitting on her. "I have a boyfriend" wouldn't do.

After feeding her fish, Penny took the bike back into town and got the general lay of the land. It was fairly straightforward, Lonusedi, like the mall, was basically one street, with houses all around on mini side streets that weren't much more than driveways shared by two or three homes. Most of them were small like Penny's; a few were larger and one held at least eight children.

After the first day on the town, Penny felt better about her new placement. She could get around, she had a few friends, and she had a few fish that would be companions of sorts. She was going three or more days without checking Leonard's university page, which she'd come to call Refuge, and she felt that she was adjusting well.

It was two months into living in her new environment that she went to Refuge and discovered that there hadn't been any updates in nearly a week. Penny quickly checked the pages of Sheldon, Raj, and Howard, and they hadn't been updated in even longer than Leonard's had. It was then that she noticed a blinking sentence in the corner of her screen.

_This site has been frozen while maintenance is performed. We should be back up and running in (_the number three was flashing)_ days._

Penny let out a sigh of relief; a small part of her paranoid, lonely self had been worrying that something was wrong. Knowing it was a website problem was comforting, yet knowing that Leonard couldn't indirectly communicate with her, even if he wanted to, made her feel even more desperate to hear his voice. She pulled out her new cell phone and was halfway through dialing his number when sense overcame her and she snapped the phone shut. She knew that should she contact him, the Department of Justice would not protect her any longer.

She reached for the glass square that she had sitting by the computer, tilting it to see the snowflake in the dim light. "Is this killing you too, Leonard?"

He didn't have to answer. She knew in her heart that he hadn't moved on yet, either.

* * *

The first time she was paid, she took the check to the bank, attempting to live up to her promise to herself. Upon arriving in Lonusedi she vowed to be smart about her finances; she didn't have anyone that she knew would help her if she got in a bad situation, and she couldn't afford to get into legal trouble. She'd promised herself that she'd put every cent in the bank, and only withdraw when she had to.

Standing in the line, holding her check in both hands and studying it so she wouldn't have to talk to any of the older people in line, she smiled at the amount and prided herself for being so responsible.

Upon reaching the counter, she made a snap decision; a decision that she hadn't known she was going to make until the words came out of her mouth.

The man at the counter did as he was told.

Penny walked home with one hundred dollars in cash, which she stashed in the bedroom. Then she sank on to her bed and asked herself why she took out money that she didn't need.

She had no answer. But she didn't take it back to the bank.


	11. Plow's Fixed  The Bull's All Better

**Okay! I was sick today and didn't feel much like updating, but now it's later at night and I've had meds all day so I feel a lot better-enough to tap out most of this. Actually, I had all of it written already except the ending part.**

**Anyhoo…this chapter will give a bit of insight into how the guys are faring.**

Even if the university website had been up and running, Leonard and Sheldon wouldn't have been using it. Sheldon had fallen sick the same day the website had crashed, and his care fell to his worn out roommate.

"You're not singing it right," said Sheldon, coughing into his elbow.

"Sorry, Sheldon," Leonard said genuinely. He wasn't sure what he was doing wrong, exactly; this would be Take Five. "Soft kitty, warm kitty, little…."

"Nooo," was the agonized sound coming from Sheldon. He sat up in an attempt to ward off the coughing fit, an attempt that was unsuccessful.

"Breathe, buddy," Leonard said. "Breathe."

"Leonard," Sheldon said in between coughs. "I am neither a half drowned child nor a woman in labor."

Leonard sighed. "I'm sorry, Sheldon." He fiddled with the zipper on his jacket. He didn't know what to do; he hadn't had to take care of Sheldon when he was sick for years. Penny had always done that; used her endless power to keep Sheldon in line to make his condition bearable for everyone. She'd been the best there was at keeping him under control…well…

Not quite the best. Leonard pulled out his phone and dialed. After speaking with the recipient of his call for a few moments, he put the call on speaker and held the phone out toward Sheldon.

The Texas native's voice poured out. "Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr…"

Sheldon had calmed down upon hearing his mother's voice, and now he was resting peacefully with his eyes closed and a small smile on his face.

Leonard sighed in relief, putting his head in his hands. It had been more than two months since Penny had left, and their group had changed. Howard, Raj, and Sheldon either wouldn't or couldn't acknowledge that fact, but Leonard, having spent more than eighteen months total at Penny's side, was socially normalized to the point where he could at least notice that they were taking steps backward.

Four nights ago they'd played Klingon Boggle until one in the morning, something they hadn't done since the week before meeting Penny. They'd repeated that action just the night before, although Sheldon had been too sick to stay up past nine – thirty. The past weekend they hadn't gone out at all; they'd stayed in their apartment, reading Comic books, while Bernadette had gone to a party for one of her friends. Howard hadn't even tagged along to the party; he said that that group of people made him uncomfortable and he'd rather sit in with the guys and go through old copies of _Superman_ and _Flash._ Bernadette had been surprised by his refusal; she hadn't understood, but she'd gone on her own anyway. The following day Howard had felt so badly about it that he'd taken her to Long Beach for the day, causing an argument between Leonard, Sheldon, and Raj later that day as to who got the extra dumpling at the new Chinese restaurant. They hadn't had an argument like that in years.

He got up and eased out of Sheldon's bedroom, closing the door with great care as to not wake up the theoretical physicist. Then he'd have to start all over again. He went out to the living room and sank into his chair, taking a _Sensational Spiderman_ comic book from the coffee table and opening it. When he moved his hands to the arms of the chair to shift his weight, he caught sight of something colorful on the right arm. He leaned down look closer; it was a smear of pink nail polish, from the day when Penny'd been giving herself a manicure in that very chair and had sworn that "I won't spill anything; I'm not as clumsy as you." Either she didn't notice that she'd spilled some or she figured that he wouldn't notice; based on her reaction to the paintball stain that had once been prominently displayed on Sheldon's seat cushion Leonard figured it was the latter. He got up and replaced the comic book on the table, heading toward the kitchen for their cleaning supplies. He found the fabric cleaner and brought it back to the couch, turning the nozzle so it said 'on'. He held the bottle six inches away from the stain and put his finger on the trigger.

After a moment, he pulled the bottle back without squeezing it and returned the bottle to its place under the sink. It wasn't that easy.

* * *

"Hey Wyatt," Leonard said when Penny's father appeared on the computer screen.

"Hey son, how's it going?" He asked, giving Leonard a smile. "Still handling the boy of yours okay?"

Leonard laughed. "He's still got a bit of a cold, but he's getting better." Although it was a pain dealing with Sheldon, it amused him when Wyatt made comments that suggested that Leonard was Sheldon's "father." "So how have you been?"

Wyatt gave a shrug. "Plow's fixed. The bull's all better."

"That's good," Leonard said, nodding. He remembered that the bull had been sick, but he hadn't known about the plow. Why hadn't Wyatt mentioned it?

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. He wasn't going to overanalyze the conversations he had with Penny's father. "Glad the bull's all better. Can't have him letting the ladies down now, can we?"

Wyatt laughed, slapping both hands onto his knees. "No, we can't. He's just like us, son."

Leonard's face turned slightly pink at the comment. Of course he and Penny had never actually told Wyatt, flat out, that they were sleeping together, but it really went without saying. Still, just to have Wyatt acknowledge it, even in a joke, made Leonard feel just the tiniest bit embarrassed. But he really didn't mind-he knew that Wyatt approved wholeheartedly. "Just like us," he repeated, grinning.

"Leonard?"

Leonard looked up to see Sheldon standing with his comforter wrapped around him. "Are you talking to your mother?"

"No," he said, looking confused. "Why?"

"I should have known, you compared the two of you. I just wasn't aware that you communicated with your ex-girlfriend's father."

"Go back to bed," Leonard said, glaring at him.

"But!"

"One…"

"Oh fine!" Sheldon shuffled back toward his room.

Leonard sighed, and looked at Wyatt, shaking his head for the latter's amusement. "Sorry about that," he said shortly.

"Aw, what's got you so uptight all of a sudden, my boy?" Wyatt asked. He made a gesture with his hand to suggest that Sheldon wasn't that big of a deal, not worth getting upset over one short conversation. "Is it that he called Penny your ex?"

"We never broke up." He said firmly, sighing to accentuate his frustration.

"You never would have," Wyatt said in a quiet voice.

"No," Leonard said. "We wouldn't have. Damn it, I knew since the day we met that I was going to marry that girl and now…" He wasn't crying. He was past crying. But the situation still killed him. He was just expressing it in anger now. "I'm never moving on. I won't always cry about it...I don't anymore, and it's only been ten weeks, but...I won't move on. She was the one, Wyatt. And I knew from the day we met."

"Leonard," said Wyatt. "I knew from the day I met you…no, before that, actually, that I wanted you as my son – in – law. Now, it can't happen legally, but…" he hesitated. "It would mean a lot to me if you'd call me dad."

Leonard was stunned, he leaned back slightly. "Oh, I…" he stuttered. "I h-have a dad. But…" he thought about his father, the anthropologist. The one who would hug him on occasion…the one who cheated on his mother.

He was still his dad.

But hell, he would have been Wyatt's son – in – law anyway. "I would love to call you Dad."

**Hope you liked! Hit me with a review? :)**


	12. You Miss Penny

**This chapter is pretty short-at least for this story, but I wanted to get something up tonight and the next part goes back to Michigan so I didn't want to put it with more of California.**

**I actually own nothing in this chapter.**

Sheldon would say it was because he didn't have a PhD, but Howard knew that this was nothing related to his education. He was just…well, he wasn't sure. He was feeling a strange range of emotion as he walked with Bernadette. He was happy that he'd done something to make up for ditching her the other day, but he was upset that he'd let her down. He was relieved that she'd agreed to spend the entire day with him, but he was anxious as to why they hadn't done too much talking. He wondered if he'd blown it. She was patient, but he hadn't been giving her the time of day. He hadn't felt _up to_ spending a lot of time outside of his home or Leonard and Sheldon's apartment recently, and he didn't know why. He was eating all of his green vegetables.

"Bernadette?" He asked.

She turned to him. "Yeah?"

"Did you have a nice time today?" he asked her.

"Yes, I did," she said, smiling. "I had a great time."

"So, do you forgive me?" he asked her, taking her hand as they continuted down the sidewalk.

"Howard," she said, "It's okay."

"No, no, it's not," he said, moving to get ahead of her and then turning, grabbing both her shoulders. "I'm a terrible boyfriend!"

She smiled affectionately at him. "No, you're not."

He sighed. "I opted out of going to the party with you to go to Leonard's and read comic books. Then last night I said I couldn't go to your house because I was helping my mother. Even after I admitted to you that I lied and went to Leonard's to play Klingon Boggle, you still aren't mad at me?"

"No," Bernadette said. "I love you. And I know you guys are going through a rough time right now."

"What?" Howard said, confused. "What rough time?"

"Howard," she said, looking down and then back up at him again. "I'm talking about Penny going back to Nebraska."

Howard frowned. "Why would that affect me? She's had no impact on my life…or anyone's, except Leonard."

"You miss her," Bernadette said. "You just don't know it. And you're not sure why she's been there so long."

"She has been gone a long time," he said, nodding. For some reason the thought hadnt' surprised him; had he thought that recently? He assumed so. Suddenly the unnameable feeling that had been hinting to him over the past few months came front and center. He knew what it was. He was feeling down. He _did_ miss Penny. Howard sighed. "Getting back to our earlier topic, you're not mad at me anymore?"

She gave a deep sigh, shaking her head. "No."

He leaned in to kiss her. "Do you want to go my place and watch _Planet of the Apes_?"

She smiled. "Only if I don't catch you on the computer in the next room."

"Deal."

They turned left at the next corner to head toward her house. She remained quiet, not questioning Howard directly, but he could see on her face that she suspected that he wondered why Penny was still gone. He wondered if she was wondering that, too.

"Sweetie?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Why _hasn't_ Penny been back?"

Bernadette shrugged. "She hasn't returned any of my calls. I guess…I guess that she wants to be a farm girl again. Come on." She tugged on his hand. "Let's get home."

Howard let her drag him into motion for a block or two, but he wasn't listening to her chatter about her work. Something didn't make sense.

After a few minutes, he stopped. Bernadette felt the resistance on her hand and she stopped, too. "What is it?" she asked gently.

Howard took in a slow breath, moving his jaw slightly to the side. "Why would Penny go back to Nebraska and leave Leonard here?"

* * *

Leonard was sitting in his bed reading a Stephen Hawking lecture – just for fun – when his cell phone buzzed. Fishing it out of his pocket, he squinted at the display.

_One new message: Bernadette R._

He selected the message, and it popped up. It was typed in a hurry; Bernadette never used slang or mis – spelled her words.

_Howard said that Penny never woulda left w/o you – so I said that you 2 decided you needed space. You can elaborate all yu want-just gave him basic story._

Howard was suspicious. Leonard sighed, answering her.

_You can just tell him that we broke up – it's probably the simplest story we can give him. We'll just say we weren't feeling it anymore._

He was about to hit send when he realized that if Howard was with Bernadette; he could easily be the one to read the text. So he deleted the sentences and revised.

_You can tell him the truth – that we just decided to end it and she wanted to go home. I'm okay with that._

He set his phone down on the blanket beside him. It had been almost three months; the guys were bound to ask eventually. Sheldon already had. A week prior he'd tried to call Penny to ask what brand of hot dogs she would buy, and had received no answer. He'd asked Leonard about her number being changed, and Leonard had had to dial it and act surprised when the voice told him that the number wasn't available. That was harder for him to do than he'd expected, because he'd never called her number, knowing that it had been changed. Now dialing those familiar numerals and not getting through had made his heart sink, even though he hadn't expected anything different.

Leonard's memory was interrupted when his cell phone buzzed again. He picked it up and read the message.

_Haha, nice. ;) I'll tell him._

"The sad thing is," Leonard said to himself, "there's really no better way to go about this." He dropped the phone on the bed and lay back, staring at the ceiling.

**Review? Please? :)**


	13. Symbolism

**Okay, new chapter! Sorry for a few days without, I've been so incredibly busy! But here's another one.**

**Now please keep in mind that this jumps from the end of October to late November to Christmas Eve in this chapter, so there are time periods in between where Penny isn't moping or regretting – but if I showed all of them, the story would start dragging.**

It was Halloween by the time that Penny caved and bought warm clothes. While she'd shivered ever since Labor Day, Shelly and Brandy had remained in shorts and tee shirts, comfortable with the cooler weather. They'd teased her about the ever present goose bumps on her arms, asking her just how warm Chicago was. "It's next to a lake!" Brandy'd teased. "What about, you know, lake effect winds?"

"Don't you get that from lake…" Penny thought frantically. "Huron?"

"Superior?" Brandy had asked, crossing her arms.

"Oh, yeah."

"Nope. Lake Michigan's closer anyway."

Penny had rolled her eyes and privately resolved to go as long as "the natives", as she called them, did without wearing a coat. But by the end of October, three months after she'd gotten to Lonusedi, she'd given up, gone to one of the stores in the mall, and used her employee discount to by a warm, pink winter coat.

"Southerner," Shelly had teased when she saw it.

* * *

At the end of November, it snowed. Penny hadn't been home to Nebraska at Christmas in years, and it was the first time in about as long that she'd been anywhere where there was snow. "You're not quite as unique anymore," she said aloud to the snowflake in her attic room as she typed an email. She took her left hand off of the keyboard and placed the pad of her pointer finger onto the glass. "There's a million more of them out there."

Penny went back to the email, but within minutes she stopped and found herself looking down at the snowflake again. She knew what Sheldon would say to this. _Penny, even you must know that all snowflakes are different. There's never been two exactly alike. At first glance, it may seem that it's all just snow, but each fleck is different. Of course, I guess to a Nebraskan, corn is corn._

"Why? Are all corn kernels different too?" Penny asked aloud.

_Don't be ridiculous._

She raised her finger off of the glass and looked down at the snowflake. She looked at the little arms that protruded from the center, and the slits on the sides. She'd never been able to look at snow like this before, even when she'd been interested in science as a little girl. It had always melted too quickly. Now, looking closely at the fleck that Leonard had preserved just for her, she noticed that it looked nothing like the perfection that was always portrayed in ornaments and other decorations. It wasn't sloppy by any means, but it wasn't like the images that one usually found when looking for snowflake décor. And among a million other snowflakes, it was far from perfect.

But it was hers. No other snowflake was exactly like it.

Penny slammed her laptop closed. "Dammit."

* * *

It was Christmas Eve when Penny went over to Brandy's house. She'd turned twenty one four days before, and Penny hadn't seen her since the party she'd thrown at a restaurant near her boyfriend's house. When she'd called the cabin, the younger girl had said that she was sorry she hadn't been to work; she'd called in and everything, but she needed to work some things out. Penny'd tried to ask what she meant by that, but Brandy had hung up. The morning before Christmas, she'd texted Penny and asked that she come visit that evening.

Brandy smiled she opened her door and found Penny standing on the porch. "Penny!" The younger girl wrapped Penny in a hug, not caring about the snow that had collected on her friend's shoulders and hair from the walk up the long driveway. Penny hugged her back. "Sorry I didn't return your call," she said, her smile as bright as always. "I had some things I had to talk to Ben about." She pulled Penny into her apartment and shut the door. "Come, come!"

Penny followed her into the living room and sat down on the hearth, letting the fire warm her back. "So what's been up with you, Dee?"

"Well," Brandy pulled up a chair and sat a few feet from Penny, facing her. "You claim to be so observant." She stuck her left hand out. "Notice anything? Huh? Huh?"

Penny's jaw dropped. "Oh my gosh, you're engaged!" She grabbed her friend's hands, looking down at the ring. "This is so…sudden…"

"Well," Brandy said. "It's kind of a…shotgun wedding. If you know what I mean."

Penny let go of Brandy's hands. "You mean you're pregnant?"

Brandy nodded. "I found out last week. So I went over to Ben's house and we talked. I mentioned getting an abortion, and he said 'not unless you think you aren't ready. Because I can be ready very easily.' So we're keeping it, getting married, and getting a house among the trolls. Because his parents are older and he wants to live near them."

Penny'd been living in Lonusedi to know that the trolls were people in the Lower Peninsula – because they lived under the bridge. "So…you're moving?"

"Oh, not for a couple of months," Brandy said. "Two at least. I've got so much to do! Oh!" I got you a present!" She went over to her tree and pulled out a flat, thin package. "Open it! Open it!"

Penny laughed at her friend's enthusiasm as she took off the paper. "Oh my gosh!" She said, laughing. "A scientific calendar for next year!"

Brandy laughed. "Yeah, you know, because you're always talking about Neils Bohr."

"Oh, I just love it!" Penny said, laughing.

"And I just love the book you got me," Brandy said. "Those jokes are so dirty!"

"I figured you'd appreciate them," Penny said, laughing. "Wow, so you're going to be leaving, huh?"

"Yeah." Brandy said, still smiling.

"Isn't this kind of…sudden?" Penny asked.

"Aw, you're gonna miss me!" Brandy sat next to Penny on the hearth and hugged her again.

"No. I mean, yes, but that's not what I meant." Penny looked at her friend. "I mean, you're twenty – one, you're getting married, and you're going to have a baby…you've just got it all figured out? Just like that?"

"Penny," Brandy said, "I'm not trying to say I'm smarter than you, or more mature, or anything. But I've been dating Ben since sophomore year of high school. I love him, and he loves me. Why deny that? Why push happiness back? We'd have gotten married and started a family eventually; why wait for that when it can happen now? Take the plunge, you know?"

Penny sighed, remembering times she'd waited and denied. The times she'd pushed happiness back. The times she hadn't taken the plunge. Of course, when she celebrated her twenty – first birthday she'd still been dating Kurt. Twenty – one years wasn't enough time for Penny to get ready for everything that Brandy was taking on now, although now she knew that for her, in the life she'd been still living a year ago, twenty – five, or twenty – six now, a few more years had been all that she needed.

But she could see that Brandy had always looked at everything and seen exactly what was right and what was wrong. She was enthusiastic and genuine; she always had been. She'd never been afraid to go after what she wanted.

Had Penny known that this would happen, she'd have married Leonard long before she'd witnessed the crime. Hell, she'd have found a way to marry all of the guys so they could all stay together forever. They were far from perfect, but they were her friends. Her family. Hers.

And what hurt the most about everything was that she hadn't left when she and Leonard were broken up. She hadn't left in the middle of a fight with Sheldon, or a disagreement with Howard, Amy, or Bernadette. She hadn't been angry at Raj for being an ass while drunk. Everything had been great, and she'd been foolish enough to think it would last forever. Well, she'd been dealt Ace – No – Face in Euchre, for sure.

_Getting married…going to have a baby…got it all figured out…just like that…_

Penny looked back over at the girl five years her junior. She smiled and put an arm around Brandy's shoulder. "No, girl, you're way smarter than me."

* * *

_"And though I seem a half a million miles from you, you are in my heart and living there." - John Denver_

**I know! Lots of references to things in Michigan. And for the record, I don't live in the U.P. or anything, and Lonusedi is not my town, and it's not anything like it. And Brandy and Shelly are nothing like me. (Sorry, I get paranoid when I add in my own characters!) :D**


	14. Breaking Point

**New chapter! :D Took me three hours because I was working on two other things at the same time. Things will start happening now-promise!**

**I still don't own anything you recognize from television. **

"Merry Christmas!" Called Bernadette as she entered 4A. She stopped short, looking around the apartment. "Um…guys?"

Sheldon was in his spot, Howard and Raj on the couch as well. Leonard sat in the armchair; in front of Sheldon was a laptop that Bernadette assumed was being used to communicate with Amy. "Hey, Bernadette," Leonard said, nodding to her. He placed a card down on the deck. "Nightshade Dryad."

"Are you guys playing Mystic Warlords of Ka-a?" Bernadette asked.

"I'm not," Sheldon said. "I'm talking to Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Isn't that distracting?" Bernadette asked, coming over and kissing Howard's cheek. "You know, to them?"

"Don't worry, Bernadette," came Amy's voice over the computer. "We're conversing in Sign Language."

Bernadette frowned. "Why?"

"It's much more challenging than spoken English," Amy said, as if the question posed was stupid.

"Of course," Bernadette said, smiling. "Of course." She sat on the arm of the couch. "Guys…it's Christmas!"

"Yeah?" Leonard said, throwing a card down again. "Invisibility spell."

"Why aren't you celebrating? Where's your tree?"

The guys looked at each other. Then Sheldon shrugged. "No point in having a tree."

"Yeah," Leonard said, shrugging too. "Germanic custom. Not mandatory."

"What is wrong with you guys?" Bernadette asked them. "No Christmas tree? You guys don't do Anything Can Happen Thursday anymore, you're staying up late playing Klingon Boggle…I never even see you guys at the restaurant anymore. What's happening to you?"

The guys looked confused. Bernadette put her head in her hands. Even Leonard, the one who was always anxious to break out, to embrace the world around him as well as remain true to his nerd roots, was sitting in that chair looking completely content with spending Christmas playing Ka-a.

They were folding, collapsing in on themselves. They were becoming what Bernadette suspected they were like prior to, well…meeting Penny. Ever since she'd arrived, Howard had told her that Leonard had made more of an effort than any of them to go out into Penny's world. He'd been curious; she'd been his guide. Sheldon had always been there telling him to remain as he was; they had great lives and their neighbor had the potential to ruin it. But she'd still taken him into her world, and the other guys had come along with him.

But now she was gone, and there was no ever – present encouragement to keep exploring a world that they didn't grow up in. They were going back to where they felt safe – and it didn't appear that any of them knew it, at least not enough to want to change it.

* * *

It was the end of January before Bernadette actually talked to Leonard about it. She'd come over to the apartment when she knew he was home, working on a blog post for Penny. She knocked lightly at the door, and when he called, she entered the room and smiled tentatively. "Hey."

"Hey," he said. He looked at the computer, and then back at her. "Am I fooling myself?"

She cocked her head. "What do you mean?"

"With this. With writing up what I'm doing."

"Didn't you always do that?" She asked hesitantly.

"Yes, but this time…this time whatever I write, I wonder what Penny will think when she reads it. _If_ she…I don't even know if she's reading them! Am I fooling myself thinking that I'm communicating with her?"

"I'm sure if she has access, she'll be reading them," Bernadette said. "I'm sure you're continuing to make her happy."

"But…" He put a hand to his forehead and let out a deep sigh. "It's not enough. I want to know what she's doing, too."

"I know, sweetie," she said, coming over to him and putting her hands gently on his shoulder. "But at least you're not leaving her in the dark."

"What if there's someone else?" he asked. "I'm still in love with her. I can't even look at anyone else…but she's in a completely new environment. Everything is different for her. What if…" He put a hand to his mouth. "What if she's met someone? What if she's _grateful_ that she was relocated, taken from me, because otherwise she'd never have met…whoever it is? What if she's _happy_ that she's not mine anymore? I'm always going to be hers. She's my weakness. She always has been. Always will be. But what if I'm not what she wants anymore?"

"Leonard," Bernadette said slowly. "I hate to be harsh but…you'll never see her again. She'll never see you. If she's happy, shouldn't that make you happy?"

"I'm selfish," he admitted. "I want her to be happy _with me_."

"She can't," Bernadette said, her voice cracking slightly.

"I know." He let out a sigh. "I know."

* * *

In February, Brandy left. Penny hugged her friend good-bye and got all the way inside of her cabin before she started to cry. Now she'd be spending even more time alone. And she'd spend even more time depressed and lonely.

She still had the job at the mall – and it amused her whenever she got assigned to work at Bohr's, but Brandy was her best friend, and with her gone Penny knew she'd spend less time with Shelly and Caroline. There weren't any extra hours to work at the mall and…that meant she'd have even more time to herself, to wander in the woods, to walk around town…or to sit around in her cabin, alone with memories.

Memories were the worst. That damn snowflake, the picture, the clothes that she'd worn back in California, all of them were cruel memories of the life she left behind. And when she was alone, her wandering mind didn't lead her to memories of Brandy, Shelly, Caroline, or the other girls she was acquainted with in Lonusedi. She thought of Leonard, Sheldon, Raj, Howard, Bernadette, Amy and even Cheryl on occasion. Her real friends. She'd sometimes think of her mother, father, sister, brother, brother –in – law, and nephew. Her real family, not some made up stereotypical household in the Chicago suburbs.

Penny logged onto the internet and clicked on her bookmarks, heading to Leonard's Twitter. It was fairly busy.

_LeslieWinkle I appreciate your offer, but I'll be marathoning the Star Wars series._

_I've won the last four Klingon Boggle games…granted, Sheldon hasn't played in three of them. Sore loser._

_Valentine's Day is coming up. #holidayscreatedbystores_

Penny cocked her head at the last tweet. Was he happy or sad about Valentine's Day? She guessed that he wasn't happy, as there were no smiley faces or tags, but she still wasn't sure. He could be happy. He could be neglecting to mention a girlfriend to spare her feelings.

Then again, how did she know that he even cared about her feelings anymore? Maybe he wasn't being descriptive in what he said because he didn't care if she knew what he was up to or not.

Another tweet popped up. Penny clicked on it.

_And Valentine's Day sucks. Like I'm eating a Kouhun._

She felt tears spring to her eyes. They'd never gotten to have a Valentine's Day-not a real one. Sure, they'd been together a year ago, but his mother had been sick and they'd spent the day in New Jersey. They'd celebrated later, but they'd never gotten the day to themselves.

And they never would.

* * *

By May, as the anniversary of Penny's move drew closer, she was reading the tweets and blog posts with more frequency and intensity. Everything that anyone said, whether it be Leonard, Raj, or Amy, she analyzed, memorized, and obsessed over. She felt pathetic doing it, but she couldn't help it. She wanted to talk to them, to let them know how she was doing. She wanted them to know that she was being responsible, budgeting, and paying for her own internet. She wanted to hear their voices, and see their faces…in person. But all she could do was read their information online.

Near the end of the month, a tweet from Raj jolted her out of her obsessed mind and back into reality with three simple words that could be related to anything: _Nothing lasts forever._

She stopped analyzing at that moment, even though that particular comment should have sent her into a frenzy, wondering what he was talking about, or if it had anything to do with her. But all it did was make her think.

_Something will. Leonard said so._

Penny shut the laptop, taking the snowflake into her hands again. She'd always associated it with Leonard, but as she gazed at it, past it, to outside where a few unusually warm days had caused the snow to start to melt, she realized that it, the rugged flake preserved forever, represented more than just Leonard to her now. It was all of them. It remained throughout the years, as the snowflakes of Michigan, of Canada, of everywhere else, melted and vanished, but this one, this single, solitary flake, remained.

That this snowflake didn't melt, even when she moved to Michigan, now to Penny seemed to mean that even though she was gone, "it" as Leonard put it, would last forever. "It" meaning their love…but "it" meant to Penny, now, that the relationships she held with all of them would never change, no matter where she was.

The smell of Leonard was almost completely faded from her pillow. But he, and the others, weren't nearly as far gone from Penny's mind.

"I miss you guys," she choked, and as soon as the words were out of her mouth thoughts of her family came into her mind, and she sank down onto her bed, crying harder, crying over her past life for the first time in months. It had been almost a year since she'd left them, and she was still this devoted to them, wanting to know what they were up to and wanting to hear their voices.

To Penny, that seemed proof that she was never meant to leave them.

"Screw Hindley," she said, standing up and reaching for her phone. She held it by her ear, anxious, until a voice answered. "Yes, hello. This is Penny Morey. I need to come in and talk to my protection agent."

* * *

_"There's only one place they call you one of their own." - Bon Jovi and Jennifer Nettles_

* * *

**Hope you liked it!**


	15. A Test Worth Failing

**Okay, here's the next chapter! I think you guys can guess how this is going to happen-though I promise you, while the basic premise may be predictable; the fic's not going to go the…let's say the most common way.**

**I still don't own anything that you see on the television.**

The agent currently assigned to her was Garrett Enitnelav, a man of about thirty who'd been working for the Witness Protection Agency for four years. Upon Penny's arrival to the station, she was moved to his office and seated across from him. "Hello, Miss Morey." Penny gave a little scoff. "Miss Morey? Something I can do for you?"

"I want out."

Agent Enitnelav looked at her. "You want out of…"

"The Witness Protection. I can't do it anymore. The guy's in jail. I want to get back to my own life."

Enitnelav folded his hands. "He could still come after you."

She sighed. "I know. But I've been here a year. I'm not miserable, but…I can't be away from my family any more. I hate not being able to talk to them. I want out."

"You understand that Hindley's threat likely won't go away?"

Penny let out a slow breath through her nose. "How's he been acting in prison?"

"I honestly don't know," Enitnelav said. "I can put a call through to Agent Tompkins if you like."

"This is a big decision," she said. "Either way. Please make the call." Penny folded her own hands. "If it's safe, I want to go home."

Enitnelav sighed and picked up the phone at her desk, dialing a number. "Agent Tompkins. I have Penny Morey here…"

Penny remained quiet during the conversation, trying to figure out what the news would be based on the side of the conversation that she could here. She couldn't make heads or tails of it. When Enitnelav finally hung up the phone, she looked at him anxiously. "Well?"

"Well," Enitnelav said slowly, "Hindley has been in solitary confinement ever since his first day at prison. He'd insisted on being with other prisoners; they nearly killed him in the exercise area. He's now by himself, he hasn't spoken to another prisoner, hasn't made or received phone calls, and hasn't had any visitors. All conversations are recorded. He's not in contact with anyone about you, and the sister of the first woman killed who helped provide us with a vehicle description. She didn't go into Witness Protection, and she is fine."

Penny raised her head slightly, feeling excitement begin to run through her. "So…"

"So you're in about as good of shape as you can be, considering. But there could still be danger…"

"I'll take the risk," Penny said. "I can't be here anymore."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Enitnelav leaned across the table. "We can take you out of the program. But you'll have to undergo another transformation."

Penny raised an eyebrow. "Meaning?"

"You'd get back your old birthday, name, birth certificate, and social security card. You'd give up the name Penny Morey, and never use it again. Your bank accounts would freeze and your credit cards canceled. You'd have to separate yourself from your life here. You have to decide right now what life you want to keep. And if you decide to leave, you can never come back in."

Penny nodded. "I understand. I still want out."

Enitnelav nodded. "I can do that for you. But remember, it's just as important that you don't breathe a word about this life as it is your old one when you are with us. Our program is extremely successful and anyone that leaves it is a loose end. The difference between us and criminals is we don't kill our loose ends."

"I'm not going to say anything," Penny said. "I just want to go home. I can't live this life."

Enitnelav gave another nod. "Come back in two days and we'll give you your old information. You'll be responsible for getting back to your old home yourself."

"Myself?"

The agent gave her a sympathetic smile. "We can't help people we aren't hiding. We can give you a ride to an airport, and that's it."

Penny sighed. "Okay. Fine. As long as I get my identity back." She stood to leave, and then paused. "I'm not…taboo's not the right word, but…do people do this?"

"Not a large majority," Enitnelav said, "but yes. We do get people for whom the danger passes or they just get tired of it, and they go home. And some of them regret it later. But to be honest, others don't."

* * *

Penny withdrew a few hundred dollars from her bank account on her way home. She would add it to the cash she'd been stashing in the cabin. She'd realized on the way to the bank that she'd subconsciously wanted this since her first pay check, when she'd taken some money home and stashed it. Her bank accounts would freeze, but the money she had at the cabin was in the thousands and hopefully it could get her home. It would for sure buy a plane ticket, but…

She didn't want to go to Pasadena. Not yet. She wanted to go and see her family first, and spend time with them without alerting her California family. Although part of her wanted to call them right away, she wanted to actually _see_ them in the flesh instead of simply hearing their voices. She wanted to spend time with her biological family before telling the others that she was coming back to them.

When Penny began to put her things back in the suitcases, she wondered, briefly, if she had failed. As if going into the program was a test of some kind, and by leaving it, she'd proven to be weak, cliché, or pathetic. But after thinking for a moment, she realized that this particular test she was glad to fail. She didn't belong in Lonusedi. It was gilded, appearing to be a carefree, happy little town where everyone had great lives. But no one knew that there lived a woman who wasn't happy. A woman who found the town, Lonusedi, to be nothing but a delusion. It wasn't a place she could live out her life.

Two days. Two more days of being Penny Morey. Then she'd get back her name, her real name, and she'd be able to walk back into the life that she'd left a year before.

Part of her warned against it, saying she was being a fool. The other remembered that Hindley hadn't acted on his threats at all. That part had won.

* * *

"_Who says you can't go home?" -Bon Jovi and Jennifer Nettles_

* * *

**I promise you now-she's not going to go to Pasadena, run into Leonard's arms, and then they have to escape from an enraged Hindley. I can one hundred percent promise you that. But she is going back-at least eventually. Sorry if that disappoints people, but it's what I was always planning to go with.**


	16. Noble Gases

**New update! Almost didn't have time for this one today – I had to make sure my homework was done because even though the Snowpocalypse is apparently coming, school for tomorrow isn't canceled yet! My guess would be there will be four or five more chapters, but those of you who know me know that that doesn't mean anything! Four or five was just a quick estimation. There may be many more, or even less. I'm not entirely certain.**

**I still don't own anything you recognize. At least nothing you recognize from the television show. Readers of the fic, well, if by now you don't recognize Enitnelav and Brandy, then you've been skimming. :P**

The last day that Penny was to be Penny Morey dawned dark and gloomy. Penny wondered if it could actually be considered to have 'dawned' as she didn't see sun the entire day. She put what she could into boxes, discreetly taking them out to the cheap car that she'd bought the day before. It was nearly twenty years old, and it wouldn't get her far, but she'd be getting rid of it as soon as she was out of the area, anyway. It just needed to work for one hundred miles.

That morning, her bank accounts had been frozen and her old credit cards scrapped. Notice had been given to the man who owned the cabin days prior. She'd go to the station that afternoon to get her original information back, and that night she'd slip away, leaving this chapter of her life behind forever. It was a lost chapter, not in that she'd never be able to speak of it, but that she'd lived it without the people she knew she was meant to go through life with.

The money that she'd been hiding in her bedroom came into use now; she was able to pay for the car in cash. She stuffed the rest in an envelope and put it in the pocket of her jeans.

Her phone rang, and Penny happily answered it, thinking that it could very well be the last phone call that Penny Morey had ever received. It was Brandy.

"Penny! How've you been?"

"Oh, pretty good…" Penny spoke cautiously. Although she and Brandy spoke on occasion, she wasn't able to tell the younger girl about her situation. No one on this side could know. "How have you been? Still feeling okay?"

"Terrific," Brandy said. "I finally caved and asked what I'm having. Do you wanna know, or have it be a surprise?"

Penny had planned on being surprised – although when both parents were in the dark she really didn't have a say – but now, as much as she wanted to hear "It's a – " when the baby was actually born, she never would. "Tell me."

"Boy. We're having a boy. We're naming him Howard, after his grandfather."

For the first time in a year, Penny heard of someone named the same thing as one of her guys and didn't feel sad. "That's wonderful," she told her friend genuinely. "Just wonderful."

She heard thunder, and then Brandy asked, "is it raining?"

"Yes," Penny said. "Or it's my stomach, I really don't know."

Brandy laughed, and talked a few more minutes before the friends said good – bye. "Brandy," Penny blurted, just before the new "troll" hung up.

"Yeah?"

"You're an awesome friend."

"…okay…"

It was said with a questioning tone. "You just are, okay?" Penny sighed. "Just…just awesome. Bye!"

"Bye, _amiga_."

Penny pressed the red phone symbol to hang up. She sank down on her bed, sighing. She wanted to go home much more than she wanted to stay, but that didn't mean leaving was completely easy. A year was more than enough time to make friends.

* * *

After an hour at the station, Agent Enitnelav finally handed over Penny's information. She took her driver's license and kissed it. Enitnelav looked at her with amusement. "What?" Penny asked, "I'm back." Enitnelav shook his head, appearing stern but under it all, looking mildly amused at the same time. "Thank you," Penny said, nodding at him as she held her papers. Her birth certificate was there, with her real last name, her real parents, and the real hospital in which she was born. She smiled. _This is me._

"Remember," said Enitnelav, "You are not Penny Morey any longer. You will not use that name again. You will not tell anyone where you've been. Is that understood?"

Penny nodded. "Yes."

"Do you need a ride to the airport?" Enitnelav asked after she signed all the necessary information – with her real name.

"No," she said. "I'm driving."

"Best of luck to you," he said, shaking her hand.

"Thank you."

* * *

That night, Penny left the cabin. It was already dark; she used a flashlight to lock the door and put the key in the key box. The owner would retrieve it at a later date.

The cabin was bare of everything she'd brought; only the old man's things remained. She'd set the hammock back up and left everything as it was when she'd found it. She'd taken, the day before, all of her surviving fish back to the pet store, where they'd been put in the grown fish tank.

She was wearing a tank top and her cutoff jeans, representing the warmer weather that was late May; her flip flops weren't the safest to drive in, but she didn't care. She wasn't about to do anything stupid now that she was getting her life back.

As she settled in the driver's seat and started up the old car, Penny felt a rush of excitement. She was going home. She'd be with her family late tomorrow, if luck was on her side, and soon after that she'd be back in Pasadena, with her guys.

Penny pulled out of the long driveway and turned right, heading up toward main street. As she passed the mall, the houses, the church for the last time, she felt a tinge of sadness. This place had been considered Home for the past eleven months, and she had made friends that she'd never see again.

But the friends she'd made weren't lifelong. They were friends for the reason that Leonard had given her that Sheldon had made friends. "Proximity and valence electrons." Her friendship with the guys was not made that way. Their friendship had no electrons to gain or lose.

They were Noble Gases. Destined to stay the same.

Penny turned out of Lonusedi, easing onto the ramp and gliding out onto the highway. The speed limit was seventy miles an hour – Penny turned on the radio, glad that, old as it was, the car was new enough to have cruise control – because she'd be going more than one hundred miles per hour in her effort to get back home.

* * *

_I'm gonna pack my bags and never look back; run a parallel line with the railroad track, and make my getaway. I'll put the pedal to the metal as the sun goes down; leave everyone sleeping in this sleepy town tonight. And at the break of day, I'll be a runaway! – Love and Theft_

* * *

**Review? I've had wonderful reviewers thus far – and you guys might bring this fic to one hundred reviews; the second fic of mine to do that! So yay! :D Hope you're still enjoying the fic! I'm still having tons of fun writing it!**


	17. Sojourner

**Okay, I had nothing for this chapter twenty minutes ago. I wanted a break from Spanish and writing is a perfect way for me to unwind – I just love it! So I tapped this out for everyone – hope you like it!**

* * *

_Omaha, somewhere in middle America. Get right to the heart of matters; It's the heart that matters more. – Counting Crows_

* * *

"I'm glad you could come and visit again," Wyatt said, slapping Leonard lightly on the back as the experimental physicist picked up his suitcase to get on the plane home. "It's good to be able to see you, son."

"Good to see you too, Dad," Leonard said, shaking the hand that Wyatt offered him. "Good to see all of you again."

"You'll come see us for Thanksgiving again?" Wyatt asked.

"Absolutely," he said. "If you'll have me."

"We'll always welcome you in our home," Wyatt promised. "You know we all love ya, my boy."

Leonard smiled. He still couldn't believe how much Penny's family had welcomed him into their lives. Wyatt's wife had taken to calling him "son", Penny's siblings regarded him as a relative and her stubborn teenage nephew had, on this last visit, started addressing him with "Uncle" in front of his name. Leonard doubted it had ever been discussed in the homes of Penny's family, but they had been treating him, for the past year, as if he and Penny had married and he was part of their family. He knew that they knew that had she stayed, that would have happened, and he couldn't believe that they liked him enough to treat him that way. And he loved them just as much.

Although he had a bit of a sneaking suspicion that Penny's brother - in - law warmed to Leonard after he had shown Penny's nephew how he could make things explode with more safety than he had been doing recently. But Leonard didn't care what made Penny's immediate and extended family come to care for him. They did - and that was all that mattered, yet another cliché saying that actually stood in a lot of truth.

"I'll talk to you soon, Wyatt," Leonard said. "You too, buddy!" he called, lifting a hand in farewell to Penny's nephew, who stood with his arms folded a few paces behind his grandfather. The boy raised a hand and nodded at the scientist, giving him a small smile.

Leonard found his seat on the plane and settled in. He'd visited Penny's family once every few months, more often than he saw his real mother or father. But Penny's family loved him more than his real parents ever had.

As the plane soared into the sky and headed West, Leonard found himself falling asleep. He adjusted his position in the chair slightly and drifted off.

* * *

Traffic and weather prevented Penny from getting home that day. It was about ten o' clock when she pulled the tiny car into a truck stop, pulled into a corner, and shifted a few boxes to the front seat so she could curl up in the back. She didn't want to spend money on a hotel, and should people tell her, at some point in the night, that she had to move, well, she had some sleep and she'd just be on the road again.

She was lucky that it was a month with mild weather. She'd been out of Michigan for hours; Wisconsin had been a good part of the day and she was in Minnesota now, camping in the light rain on her way to Iowa and then Nebraska. Luckily her car, though old, didn't leak. It wasn't until a few minutes after that thought had entered her mind that Penny realized exactly how much that would suck.

The last time she'd truly gone camping had been years ago, but she fell back into the routine of sleeping in less than perfect comfort fairly quickly. Exhaustion played something of a part, though not on this particular night, as adrenaline was counter acting the tiredness. Penny lay awake for a while, smiling to herself at the knowledge that the following day she would see her family. Soon after that, she'd see the guys, and Leonard.

Leonard. Penny wanted to call him so badly, to hear his voice on the other end and be able to say "Guess who?" Or "Who's blonde, was born in Nebraska, and loves you?" But she didn't. Not only did she not know if he was still single, she wanted to see him before they spoke. She wanted to be able to see the expression on his face when he saw her again. Of course, that could be just because his face would give her an indication to if he was in a relationship or not. She prayed he wasn't; after a year apart from him she still knew her heart belonged to him and it would kill her to know that he had moved on, although she knew he had a perfect right to – she'd even given him permission.

But just as she drifted off to sleep, Penny thought that, even if he was with someone else, it would be okay. She'd cry, she'd suffer from insomnia, but that would pass in time. Missing him, missing everyone, that would never go away; she wouldn't have been able to stay forever in Lonusedi. But as long as she was around them, she could live without being in a relationship. Even if she and Leonard could only be friends, it was better than this silence.

With those thoughts in her head, Penny fell asleep in a surprisingly peaceful state of mind.

* * *

She was woken up early the next morning by a barking dog, dragging on his leash as he tried to chase a goose. Penny raised her head out the window to this site, his burly owner tugging on the leash. "Thanks, Fido," she said pulling herself into a sitting position and putting a hand to her head. She fished into one of her bags and found Tylenol. "No headache today," she said as she crawled into the front seat and tossed what she had placed up there the night before back into the back seat. She'd slept pretty well for a night in a small vehicle. "Leonard, if we start our relationship up again when I get home, we are so doing it in this car," she mumbled to herself as she started the car. She pulled out of the truck stop, got gas at the station on the corner, and got back on the highway. She rolled the windows down and let the wind whip through the car. Her ears would hurt tomorrow. But she wasn't doing anything to take away the free, weightless feeling that she had today. She got up to the speed limit and turned on cruise control.

It wasn't long before she passed under the sign that said "The People of Iowa Welcome You – Fields of Opportunity." She tapped the cruise control button, speeding her car up by one mile per hour – a harmless action. If it got her there one minute sooner, she would do it. One more state to go.

And her parents still had no idea.

* * *

_Tell everybody I'm on my way. And I just can't wait to be home… - Phil Collins_

**Two chapters today! If I really tried, I could probably get another one done today, but I only have another hour on the computer and I've got some other things to do. :/ But tomorrow, if there's no school, or Thursday at the latest, I will have another one for everyone! Sorry if there's a bit of a wait; hope two today will make up for it!**


	18. Toy Train

****

New update! The fic is nearing it's conclusion now; there will only be a few chapters left. Unsure how many, but I can promise more than one. :)

* * *

_Take me home, country roads, to the place I belong. - John Denver_

_

* * *

_The land around her little blue car was wide open. Knee high grass blew from one side of the road to the other, making the long grass ripple like waves. Barns and farm houses dotted the country, either near to the road or far back, splotches of red in the green and gold blanket that was the Great Plains.

Penny knew from experience that police didn't frequent this stretch of road – reckless driving wasn't enforced as strictly here because there was nothing to hit. So she clicked up the cruise control a few more. It wouldn't hurt. She wanted to see her parents; the closer she got to them the more she realized just how much. She grew more and more anxious as she began to pass farms that she knew. The Henning's' place, the old Grayson farm. Just ahead was where Mister No – One – Knew – His – Last – Name's farm with the gazillion cows. Penny smiled. She was almost home.

Although it would be another twenty minutes or so before she'd get to her family's place, Penny felt herself getting slightly emotional just by being in the area for the first time in so long. For the past year, she'd lived somewhere new, not gone more than thirty miles from that place, and not been able to contact anyone from her old life. Now, all of a sudden, she was here, at the place where she grew up, and the memories were coming back, like when she was little and was making new track for her brother's train set, laying the track down quickly, only a few feet ahead of the moving train. That was happening now, to her, as her memories, and places she recognized, appeared in front of her as something she remembered, but something that seemed so new, as well.

Finally – _finally_ – she reached her own home, pulling the old car into the driveway with the last few drops of gas in the tank. She felt tears spring to her eyes as she saw her childhood home, the lovely two story farmhouse that she'd found so old – fashioned as a teenager. Behind it and to the right was the dairy barn, the livestock corrals, and the various other buildings. As she parked the car, she shook with excitement.

Her mother's car was not in the driveway; she was likely in town. Her father would be in the dairy barn to supervise the evening milking. Penny flung open the car's door and it slammed behind her as she started walking around the house. She wondered if the earth in Nebraska felt different from the earth everywhere else, or if it was her imagination. It certainly felt different now.

As she neared the dairy barn, Penny began to run. She lost her flip flops crossing onto the barn; she wasn't used to running in them. She didn't care. She could hear her father's voice, talking to one of the cows. Penny slowed herself enough to ease the door shut – she wouldn't announce her presence with a sequel to The Startled Heifer Incident of 1998. At the soft click of the door, she raced down the aisle in the middle of the milking stalls. Most were empty; he was just brining in the cows. "Daddy!"

Wyatt leaned his head out of the milking stall on the far end. His jaw dropped; he fiddled with the catch on the door before exiting and sprinting down the hall. When they reached each other, he wrapped arms so tightly around her that her shoulders hurt. "Slugger," he whispered. She heard his voice crack as he whispered her nickname again, and when he finally whispered her given name he was openly crying.

She felt herself start to cry, too. "Daddy," she whimpered. "I love you,"

"Oh, sweetheart," Wyatt said, leaning back to see her face. He took both of his hands and pushed her hair behind her ears. "What are you doing here?"

"I left the program, daddy," she said. "I couldn't take it."

"Oh, my little girl," he said, smiling at her. "Come inside. Your mother will be home soon. Oh, she'll be so glad to see you!"

"Don't you need to…" she gestured toward the stalls.

"No, already finished," he said. "Just turned the last ones out." He cocked his head at her. "So…why didn't you call us?"

She shrugged, glad that she'd asked herself that question so many times on the drive over; she wouldn't have had an answer otherwise. "I was afraid that if I said I was coming home, somehow I wouldn't get there. I needed to see people. You, Mom…Leonard and the guys, once I get back to Pasadena. I need to know if they're okay; I want to call them so badly, but…somehow it needs to be in person."

"Well, I can tell you that I'm doing great, Mother's doing great, your siblings are wonderful, and Leonard's the exact same guy he was last time you saw him."

Penny cocked her head slightly left. "How do you know that?"

"We've web-chatted," her father said, freely admitting it. "He's come to visit us a few times. He's like family to us, sweetie."

Her mouth fell open slightly. "Oh…he _is_?" She felt the corners of her mouth tugging upward. "Oh, Dad…"

He put his arm around her. "He was just here, three days ago."

"He was!" She felt tears spring to her eyes, knowing that Leonard had been at this very place so recently. Then she sucked in a breath. "Daddy…is he…still…" She wiped her eyes as they reached the house, heading in the back door. "Is he in a relationship?"

Wyatt gave a heavy sigh, taking off his hat and hanging it on the deer antlers near the door. "We don't talk about relationships. He hasn't said anything, but I don't ask him, 'so, anyone in your life'?"

"Oh."

"Honestly, sweetie, I don't think so. He knows we love him like family and he knows that we know that he would have been family…" he trailed off and looked at Penny with a new smile spreading across his face. "There is no 'would have been' anymore, now is there?"

Penny shrugged, throwing up her hands. "I don't know. Maybe he hasn't mentioned a girlfriend because he doesn't want to hurt you."

"Ah, Penny. You were the love of his life," Wyatt said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "He hasn't gotten over you in only a year!"

"You don't know that," she said. "Maybe you get over someone quicker when you know there's no chance."

"Don't talk like that," Wyatt said, shaking his head at her. "I don't know him a tenth as well as you and even I know that he'd never have gotten over you."

She smiled at him. "Thanks, Daddy."

She and Wyatt heard the sound of an engine turning off at the same time, and they turned to look toward the front of the house. "Your mother's home," Wyatt said, giving her a slow smile. He turned her by placing his hands on her shoulders. "Go."

* * *

An hour after Penny's mother returned to the farm house, the three Nebraskans were still in an argument about Penny's decision. Penny was in tears on the couch, cowering away from her parents as they yelled at each other.

"You're not even happy to see her!" Wyatt shouted.

"Oh, so my bursting into tears and throwing my arms around her was a sign that I don't love my daughter?"

"I didn't say that!"

"You called me that word!"

"You were being one! You don't call your daughter that other word!"

"If there's ever an excuse to compare me to a dog used for breeding, then 'idiot' is never, ever a curse!"

"Really? Your mother would disagree!"

"You leave my parents out of this!"

"Guys!" Penny said, tears escaping her eyes, "stop yelling about it, okay? I'm home! I love both of you! I didn't come here for a fight. I came here to see my parents!" She got up and walked out of the room, feeling like a teenager again as she headed for her room.

She was startled to see that it was the same as she had left it, the last time she'd visited. But she didn't feel like looking around, poking through the stuff in her closet, right now. She sank down on the bed and curled up, assuming the fetal position.

There was a knock at her door a few minutes later, mere seconds after the yelling in the living room had stopped. "Min," she said, and the door slowly opened to reveal her mother.

"Baby," the woman said, smiling gently as she came to sit on the side of the bed. She reached a hand out and traced Penny's cheek and chin with her fingertips. "You…you have to know how happy I am to see you. I love you." Penny squeezed her eyes shut. "Sweetie, I'm sorry I called you an idiot. It just scares me to know that my little baby girl isn't safe anymore."

"I'm _safe_, Mom," she said. "I made sure."

"You can never be certain, sweetheart," she said, pushing some hair behind her daughter's ear. "I just got scared when I saw you."

Penny opened her eyes. "You yelled 'what the hell are you doing? Go back'!"

"In my defense, I hugged you and said I loved you first." Her attempt to joke was lost on Penny. "Sorry, sweetie. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I want you around, really I do. I had just…made peace with the fact that you weren't around, because I knew you were safe. Now I'm going to worry."

Penny sat up. "I'm going to worry, too," she said, wiping her eyes. "But I can't be away from the people I love."

"Oh, sweetie," her mother said, leaning forward toward her daughter. Penny accepted the hug with one of her own. "I've missed you."

"Missed you too, Momma," she whispered.

**Hoped you liked it! Let me know what you thought in a review!**


	19. I Think I Always Knew

**One more chapter tonight! Woot! It may not be very good – I am so freaking tired right now – but I don't know if I could do any better in the morning, to be honest. Hope you like it!**

**DISCLAIMER: It's not mine.**

Penny woke up at dawn on the third day that she'd been at her childhood home. She rolled onto her back and stretched, content to stay in bed.

It had been a great few days. Her parents had insisted that she didn't have to work, but Penny threw herself into chores. She supervised milking, she brushed their five horses until her mother made her stop, saying all the hair was about to come right off of the horses. Penny'd stuck her tongue out at her mother, grinning.

She'd visited her sister and nephew the previous day, and he'd been extremely happy to see her. Of course, most of his talking was about "Uncle Leonard" and how he'd taught him how to blow up stuff without ticking off his parents, but Penny was glad to listen.

"So are you guys going to get married now?" her nephew had asked, lighting a candle and holding a plastic army man over the flame.

"What are you doing?" she had asked him.

He'd shrugged. "I don't play with these anymore."

"You're going to be such an arsonist," she'd said fondly, glad to have avoided the question about her and Leonard.

At her statement, her nephew had grinned proudly.

This morning, Penny lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. It was time to move, to head west again. She had to see Pasadena, and all within it, again. She yawned and sat up, swinging her legs off the bed and into the slippers her mother had bought for her.

She shuffled downstairs, smiling at her father when he looked up from the paper. "Daddy," she said, coming over to him, "I need to go to California."

"Today?" He asked her, cocking his head.

"I won't be able to get all the way home today," she said, "but I need to start."

"Why don't," said her mother, coming into the living the room from the kitchen, "you let us buy you a plane ticket? You might not be able to get a flight until tomorrow, but it'll still be faster than driving the entire way."

Penny shook her head. "Oh Momma, I can't ask you to do that."

"You didn't ask us," Wyatt said, "we're offering. Take it, Princess. We haven't been able to parent you for a year."

"I'm an adult," she said, putting her hands on her hips. "What do you mean, 'parent' me?"

"Oh, you know," said her mother, smiling. "Like buying you a plane ticket so you can get home faster."

Penny smiled as she looked from one parent to another. Then she shook her head. "I can't," she said. "You don't have to spend your money on me."

"We're your parents," said Wyatt.

"Yes," agreed his wife. "It's our job. You'll understand when you have children."

She and Wyatt looked at each other and smiled. "What was that about?" Penny asked.

"Just the thought of you and Leonard having lil' ones," said her mother. "Assuming…of course…" she glanced at Wyatt.

"You told her?" Penny asked, her jaw dropping.

Wyatt looked startled. "Of course I did! We love the boy; we love that you've found someone like him."

"I don't know for sure if I…" she trailed off, looking away from her parents and shaking her head rapidly.

"Sweetie," said her mother, coming over and putting her arms around her daughter. "What's wrong?"

Penny swallowed. "When I first arrived in…where they assigned me, I thought I might be pregnant. After I was there about a week I started thinking maybe, and I took probably a dozen tests. They were all negative. The possibility scared the hell out of me."

"Oh, sweetheart," said Wyatt, putting down the paper.

"You must have been terrified."

Penny thought a moment, and then shook her head. "Not really. From my first suspicions to the negative tests was less than forty – eight hours. It was enough to make leaving Leonard harder…I think that was why I started to keep money out of the bank. The thought, as fleeting as it was, that I was carrying Leonard's child was enough to plant a tiny seed in the farthest reaches of my mind that maybe relocation wasn't forever; that I couldn't last in that new place. So I started saving for when I could come home. I didn't know, of course, not at the time. And as the months went by, believe it or not, I pretty much forgot the incident. But I kept saving money. I think somewhere, deep down, I always knew, from that little scare, that I wasn't going to stay in…that place."

"Oh, sweetheart," Wyatt said again.

Penny laughed from her mother's arms. "Can you come up with some alternative diction?" Wyatt looked confused. "Can you use other words," she 'translated' down for him. He laughed, and Penny smiled. The impact the guys had had on her certainly hadn't lessened over time. Or maybe it had; maybe she was re-adjusting as she subconsciously prepared for her reunion with them.

"Let us buy you that plane ticket, Daughter," her mother said. "We'll have your things shipped."

Penny smiled. "Thanks, Momma."

* * *

That night, Penny found that she couldn't sleep. Despite what her parents assured, she couldn't shake the unease over Leonard. What if he _did_ have a girlfriend? She didn't doubt that her parents believed that he was still alone, but at the same time a little bit of her wished that he didn't sit around for a year grieving. She knew he hadn't. She just hoped that he hadn't found someone knew once he stopped mourning.

Penny pulled out the new phone that she'd bought less than a week before, under her new…old…_real_ name. She still had the number memorized.

"Hello?"

Penny put a hand to her mouth, nearly overcome with emotion. "Bernadette."

There was a long pause. A very long pause. Then… "Penny?"

"Bernadette!" Penny cried, smiling even though tears were threatening her once again.

"What are you doing? Isn't this against rules?"

"No, I'm out."

"_What_?"

"I left. I'm coming home."

"Are you…so you know that Hindley's pretty much holed up and doesn't talk to anyone?"

"Made sure before I checked out," Penny said.

"Oh, Penny, this is wonderful! I just hope it's safe."

"I think it will be," Penny said. "I'm just glad it was, you know, okay, because I've missed all of you so much since the day I left. You know how much I love you guys."

"Love you, too," Bernadette said warmly. "Oh, they're going to be so…well, I think excited…"

"What do you mean?" Penny said. "You think they'll be excited? How can they not – and I'm giving you a hug through the phone, by the way – be excited for me to come back? We're all friends, right?" She was still grinning. She was talking to Bernadette, someone she was supposed to never have contacted again. She couldn't believe this was happening.

"You say it in a joking manner," Bernadette said, "but Sheldon, Raj…even Howard and Leonard, I'm not sure what they'll do."

He _did_ have a girlfriend. Penny's heart stopped. "What…do you mean?"

She heard Bernadette sigh into the phone. "Since you left they've…changed. You were their link, if you will, to the outside world and they've been clinging to Nerdvana, as if that would fill the void left by you."

Penny knew that wasn't good, but at the same time she felt a little warm. "So…I had an impact on them?"

"It was never so clear until you were gone," Bernadette said. "But they've fallen into many old habits that I heard about from either you or Howard. Still, they're not nearly so bad as they won't recognize you or anything, so don't worry about that. They may be just a bit…shyer."

"How in the world can Raj be even more shy?" Penny said.

"He'll probably look afraid of you, honestly," Bernadette said. "But don't worry – they'll be thrilled. All of them. Especially Leonard. Just don't expect them to be as socialized as they were when you left."

_I had an impact on them._ Penny couldn't help but smile a little as she tucked her legs under her. "And…I have to ask, Bernadette."

"Yeah?" she asked. "Oh, and I'm hugging you back, okay?"

Penny wrapped one of her arms around herself and squeezed for a second. "I got it! And my question is, how's Leonard? Is he, you know?"

"He hasn't so much as looked at anyone," Bernadette assured her. "He'll always love you."

"_Oh…_" Penny put another hand to her mouth happily. "Thank you. Don't tell him I'm coming, okay?"

"I won't," she said. "When will you be here?"

"I'm taking a flight from Omaha tomorrow morning."

"Great. Want me to pick you up at the airport?"

"Oh, gosh, yes. And can you bring Amy? You know, without spilling the beans?"

"Yeah. I won't tell her a thing."

"Thanks, buddy," Penny said, smiling. "I've missed you."

"You too. A lot."

"Well…it's almost midnight here."

"Yeah," Bernadette said. Penny could almost hear her smile. "Good – night."

* * *

Eight hours later, Penny hugged her parents and boarded a plane for California. Bernadette and Amy would be waiting for her. Then, she'd go to where she could see Leonard, Single Leonard. Leonard Hofstadter, who, according to a woman who spent quite a bit of time with him, still loved her.

Penny took in a deep breath and let it out. But this time it was strictly eager anticipation. With a little bit of luck, tonight she could be with the people with whom she belonged. She hadn't felt this good in a year.

As the plane took off, she looked out the window, watching the buildings and motor vehicles grow smaller and smaller as she moved westward.

* * *

_Tell my waiting good – bye, it's all blue skies, it feels like coming home. – Sara Evans_


	20. Two Familiar Faces

**Okay! Chapter twenty! There will be at least two more – that may be it. But at least two, probably only two, and the first of those two will be up momentarily. Hope you enjoy them!**

**I own absolutely nothing in this chapter. *sighs heavily***

When the plane started its descent, Penny didn't even mind the discomfort in her ears. It meant they were losing height, and as she looked out the window to the familiar airport below she put her hands to her face in an attempt not to show emotion. No one cried getting off of an airplane, or if they did, Penny was always the one smirking at them behind their backs. She didn't want anyone smirking at her.

She de – planed upon the allowance of the stewardesses, and moved quickly to baggage claim. She'd only brought her carry – on and one other bag; her mother and father had been kind enough to ship her other stuff to Bernadette's address, where Penny would be staying until she worked something else out. She stood among the other travelers as the suitcases came swinging along on the conveyor belt, alternatively glancing at the belt and the crowd, looking for someone she recognized.

The conveyor belt produced the desirable result first. Penny stepped forward and grabbed the dark bag, swinging it around to her back. Both her carry – on and this bag were able to be carried on the shoulder; it made walking easier while she searched for her friends, her fingers tucked in her jeans pockets for lack of anywhere else to put them; they felt so odd hanging limply at her sides.

Her stomach turned as she started walking toward the exit, scanning the crowd. She wanted to see her friends so badly, but she hadn't been this nervous since she'd testified. She didn't know why…she decided it was less nervousness than it was anxiety.

Unfamiliar faces were all around her, people she'd never seen or hadn't seen long enough to make an impression. They swarmed, moving around her, some bumping her as she stood still in the middle of the aisle – like room near the exit doors.

Then, among the crowd of strangers, she spotted two people who she knew very well, or she had known well a year ago. Two women, a blonde and a brunette, both wearing glasses and scanning the crowd with the same focused expression that Penny was sure she'd had on her own face as she looked for them. She picked up her bags, slung them over her shoulders, and headed toward them.

The taller, brunette scientist saw her first, and her homely face broke into a smile. "Bestie!"

As Amy spoke, Bernadette glanced at her, and then looked where the brunette was looking. Penny saw her smile as the microbiology student caught site of her. "Penny!"

"Bernadette! Amy!" She reached them jogging, sagged her shoulders so her bags would drop, and enveloped both of them in a hug at the same time. She felt four arms come around her, from her neck to her waist as both women tried to control the hug. She didn't care; she was too happy to worry about being suffocated by the two other enthusiastic women. "Oh, I've missed you guys."

"I've missed you too," Amy said very seriously as the three women parted.

Penny put a hand on her shoulder. "So glad to see you! How are you and Sheldon?"

"Close friends, same as always," Amy said. "We did have to fake a kiss on New Year's to continue to fool my mother, but we stood at an angle where it may have appeared that lips touched other lips, but they did not."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Sounds just like the Shamy," she said jokingly.

"I've missed you," Amy said, "but I still don't like that."

Penny laughed. "Okay."

The trio headed out to Bernadette's car, Penny closing her eyes momentarily and taking in a deep breath. "California air," she said, glancing at her friends. "Such smog!" she said, exaggerating the condition of the air by wrinkling her nose while still smiling.

The scientists laughed. "But it smells great today, doesn't it?" Bernadette said with understanding.

Penny nodded. "It really does."

* * *

"So what has everyone been up to?" Penny asked as they drove toward Bernadette's neighborhood. "I mean, aside from the little hints Leonard was blogging about?"

"What hasn't he told you?" Bernadette thought for a moment. "Well, there were experiments, grant applications…I'm living with Howard now."

Penny had been drinking from a water bottle – an instant after Bernadette spoke the inside of her windshield was dripping. "Sorry," Penny chocked, grabbing a handful of tissue and attempting to dry the glass.

Bernadette laughed. "It's okay. I was expecting that type of reaction; that's why I said it."

"So…" Penny was a bit confused. "You're … _not_ living with Howard?"

"No, well … not quite yet. He's busy becoming less attached to his mother. He stays with me on weekends, when he's not with the guys. We're slowly working toward living together."

"Well that's great," Penny said. "Great."

"So, Penny," Amy said, "I hear you were in Witness Protection."

"You told her?" Penny asked.

"Was I not supposed to?" Bernadette asked.

"I … I don't know." Penny frowned. "I guess it doesn't matter anymore."

"What was it like?" Amy wanted to know, leaning forward until the seat belt prevented any more advancement.

Penny looked at her in the rearview mirror. She could have given her a long answer, about needing to adjust, thinking she had adjusted only to relapse into missing everyone time and time again, about worrying if Leonard was still available or not, about losing the friends she had made. But she decided on a short and to the point answer; an answer Amy would appreciate.

"I had a few friends, Amy," Penny admitted. "But overall, it was Hell."

"Well, I am sure that Leonard will be overjoyed to see you," Amy said.

Penny smiled at Bernadette, and then moved her smile toward Amy via the mirror. "I hope so."

* * *

Once at Bernadette's house, Penny dropped off her two bags and thanked the microbiologist again for letting her stay there. "It's no problem at all, Penny," Bernadette said. "I'm so happy you're home."

"I'm happier," Amy insisted.

Penny slung an arm around her friend's shoulders. "I'm happi_est_."

Amy looked at Penny without amusement. "Going to the superlative. So childish."

Penny rolled her eyes.

"So Penny, are you ready to see your man?" Bernadette asked teasingly as she returned from the other room.

Penny felt nerves (anxiety? Was there a difference?) again. "Yes. No! Yes…"

"What are you so nervous about?" Bernadette said, laughing. "It's not Hindley, is it?"

"This Hindley fellow, is he anything like the character of Hindley Earnshaw in _Wuthering Heights_?"

"Well, he does have an attitude problem," Bernadette said. "Come on, you watch the news."

"I know," Amy said. "I was looking for an opinion from someone who had seen him in person."

Bernadette motioned to them to head back out to her car. "And seeing him once makes a difference?" she asked.

"Now, now," Penny said jokingly as they re – entered the car. "I saw him in person _twice_."

**Stay tuned; new chapter will follow shortly!**


	21. Face to Face

**Okay, second to last chapter (most likely). There won't be another one up today – a new episode is in ten minutes and then I'm going to be getting other stuff done … plus, I have school tomorrow. Yuck. But whatever, here you go!**

**I don't own anything.**

"Penny, just relax," Bernadette said as she merged lanes. "It's going to be fine."

Penny shifted uncomfortably again. It wasn't so much nerves anymore. She was just so overwhelmed. Two weeks ago she thought she'd never see anyone she loved ever again. Then, in the past four days, she'd seen her parents, sister, nephew, Bernadette, and Amy. As they drove down streets that were so familiar to her, Penny felt almost overcome with relief that it looked the same. She'd been terrified that something would have changed … something big; maybe one or more of the guys had moved; maybe the Cheesecake Factory had been closed. Any little thing she would have realized was different would have caused her to break down; luckily, everything appeared the same.

"Don't worry," Amy said from the back seat, in the same monotone as usual. "I'm here for you."

The fact that she meant it while sounding so flat made Penny smile. "I know you are," she said. She looked to Bernadette. "Tell me something about him," she said.

"Leonard?" Bernadette asked, as if it wasn't obvious. "He had a very successful demonstration in front of the grad students a few months back. Siebert and Gablehauser were very happy with it."

"How long did it take him to…" Penny asked hesitantly, "stop crying?"

"It was a while," Bernadette admitted. "Probably six weeks. At least he had me to talk to; it killed us having to keep the secret from everyone else. After a few months he was okay; he started acting more like himself. He fell pretty quickly back in with the other guys, in the sense that they started acting like they did before they met you. I could tell because Leonard noticed it and told me how the others were acting; Howard has also told me about the things that they all used to do with their time 'before Leonard became infatuated with Penny' and I recognized those things when they started happening again."

"How much…nerdy are they?" Penny asked, cringing at her own bad grammar, the result of switching what she was going to say half way through the sentence.

"They just spend more time playing that boggle game, or online gaming, or going to conventions and stuff like that. They're not different people; don't worry."

"Okay." Penny let out a heavy breath and shifted her weight again, tugging at her top to straighten it as Bernadette pulled up in front of her apartment building – her old apartment building.

"Who's living in my place?" Penny asked, suddenly not wanting to go inside. Aside from a few days when she first moved in, when she was still acquiring furniture, her place had always looked like her home. She didn't want to see it look any different.

"No one," Bernadette said. "The water was out for a week about three months ago, everyone had to live elseware while it was fixed – Sheldon freaked out – and no one wants to move into a building that has so recently had that kind of problem.

That made Penny feel better. "So I'll get my home back," she said. "I'll live there, no doubt about it!"

"Go up and see Leonard," said Amy. "Then you can decide on living conditions."

"Smart idea," Penny said, unbuckling herself.

"As are all my ideas," Amy said.

"Yes, definitely," Penny said, nodding as she exited the car.

She walked through the two sets of doors into the lobby. It looked exactly the same, the mailboxes, the elevator, and the stairs…the elevator. The caution tape was gone. Curious, Penny went over and pressed the up button, and in a few moments there was a dinging sound and the doors opened. Penny stood there, staring into the elevator, and then let the door shut without stepping inside. She wanted to take the stairs.

Before she did so, she turned and looked at the mailboxes. She knew which one was 4A's, and she moved toward it, pulling her driver's license out of her pocket and prying it open, taking the mail out and clutching it. She envisioned herself standing at the door and saying "I got your mail," when 4A's door opened.

Penny turned and headed for the stairs, lifting her feet in the automatic height that she'd been used two for most of the recent years. As she headed upwards, she wondered what she would say. Would she tell Leonard she loved him upon seeing his face? Would she tell him the obvious, that she'd left the program? Would she tell him that the cat had never died? She wasn't sure. She figured whatever she'd say would be something that would be blurted out upon seeing his face; whatever the words were, Penny knew they'd be the right ones.

She reached the second floor, passed it, reached the landing, and then she was on the third floor. She took in another deep breath. The stairs kept coming, one after the other, and then she was on the third floor landing. So close.

There were more stairs now, Penny decided. It shouldn't take this long to get to the fourth floor. She picked up the pace, and then she was there, standing so close to the very core of her old life. 4A's door was mere feet from her; her old apartment door not much farther away.

Taking a deep breath, and wiping her sweaty hands on her jeans, she moved to stand at the front of the door – his door – and knocked. She wondered if he would be there. Maybe he wouldn't be. Maybe Sheldon would answer. Maybe they wouldn't be home. If that was the case, she'd call the building people and ask for her old apartment back. Or maybe she'd go to the university and visit them there. But maybe they wouldn't be there, and she'd panic and go running around the city looking for them. No, she wouldn't. Bernadette would keep her calm and in one place.

She heard the click right before the door opened, it swung to the side and she was face to face with the man that she loved. He was wearing his tan jacket, brown pants, and a red shirt. His glasses and hair hadn't changed.

He blinked when he saw her, his mouth coming open ever so slightly. She too, was speechless. They stared at each other for what seemed like hours, but was really less than two seconds, and then Penny spoke.

"I came home."

**So this is officially the longest fic I've ever written – in chapters, anyway. Maybe this one will bring me over the word count for The Third Party Accumulation, too.**

**Review, please! I've had mostly very good reviewers for this fic, so thank you for that!**


	22. Back Together?  Still Together

**I am such a liar. I lied to you guys twice today. One, this is yet another chapter posted today, and two, it's not the last one. There will be one more, and the fic will be totally wrapped up. Then I'll have no works – in – progress again! But a few one shots are forming in the back of my mind, so those will be scattered throughout the next few weeks.**

Even after she spoke, he didn't respond. But she saw something change in his face, as if something had collapsed. She began to hear his breathing … or maybe it was her own.

Then he moved, stepping outside the apartment and wrapping her in a hug. She felt his arms tighten around her and his head tuck downwards against hers. Her head was bent in the same way, nearly touching his right one. He had come to her with such force that she was bending backward a bit, her chin resting on his shoulder.

They were both crying. She broke first, her shoulders starting to shake and her eyes welling up. Once her tears gained audio, Leonard broke down, too.

He felt the tears come and clenched his teeth in an effort to stop them. It was a technique that he'd perfected over the past year. His breath would come quickly from between his teeth but his crying sounds would be muted. But this time, he wasn't sure it would work, his throat was too tight.

Penny was here. Not only here, in the hallway between his and what he still considered her apartment, but _here_, wrapped tightly in his arms. And he wasn't letting her go this time. Those Department of Justice people could come by the hundreds, thousands, up those stairs right now and try to tear her away from him but he wasn't letting go. They'd have to kill him first.

"Leonard," she choked, the first thing she'd said since "I came home." His name. He'd forgotten how good it sounded coming from her lips. He loosened the hold he had on her ever so slightly so they could see each other's faces. "Leonard," she said, speaking his name again, looking into his eyes as if she needed a confirmation that that word still meant him.

"Penny," he said, bringing his hands up to her hair. "Oh, sweetheart." He saw the tears glinting in her eyes. "I…" he cut off the clichéd _thought I'd never see you again _and just shook his head slowly.

"I was so afraid that you … but I had to come back …" She trailed off, shaking her head. She looked at him for another moment, and then closed her eyes and put her lips on his.

He slid his arms down to her waist and tugged her close, and she put her arms around his neck. Even after a year apart, they fell back into their old selves immediately, remembering how the other one smelled, tasted, and felt. They were both breathing hard by the time it ended, both from joy and pure relief. "I love you," she said, her voice cracking. "I missed you so much!"

"I love you, too!" He said, his tone sounding anxious. He put his hands on her cheeks and pulled her to him, kissing her again. She rested her hands on his chest. "I thought by now you'd have found someone new."

"You stopped posting specific stuff on your blog!" She blurted. "I thought you had a girlfriend!"

"No, Lovebug," Leonard said. "God, no. The decade wasn't up, remember?"

"I remember," she said, smiling.

"I assume you're not … leaving again?"

"Can't. The program won't take back quitters. I assume I'll be okay, as Hindley hasn't contacted anyone."

"Yeah," Leonard said. "Oh God, am I glad you're home."

"Me too," she said, smiling at him.

He smiled back, brushing hair away from her eyes. "Penny?" he said after a second. "We're still in the hall."

She smiled, glancing at the door to 4A. "Shall we?"

Leonard turned, keeping his arm around her, and they walked into the apartment. "It all looks just as you left it," he said, gesturing around the space with his free hand.

Penny pushed the side of her head against his neck. "Yeah, it does. Is Sheldon home?"

"No," Leonard said. "He won't be home for a couple of ours. I'm sure you can't wait to see him! And everyone else…they missed you, too, you know."

"I've already seen Bernadette and Amy; they got me at the airport."

Leonard cocked his head. "I would have come and gotten you."

"I didn't know until last night that you were single," she said. "And I wanted to see you first." She looked down at her feet, and then back up at him. "So … are we back together?"

"We never broke up, as I recall," Leonard said, his arm still around her. He reached for one of her hands with his free one as they stood near the coffee table. "I honored our relationship. You?"

"One hundred percent," she said, nodding.

"Then we're not _back_ together," he said. "We're _still_ together."

"Good," Penny said. She put her arms back around him and gave him a firm kiss, sliding her hands under his jacket as she tugged him toward the couch.

"Penny," he said. "Bed."

"Mmmm?"

"I said," he said, pulling his lips from hers momentarily, "_bed_. Beds are good. Couches are not so good."

"Come on, it's not my couch, there's room for both of us!"

"No," Leonard said. "I mean, Sheldon's already had one breakdown in the past six months. We damage the couch and he'll jump out that window."

"Fine, bed then," Penny said, grabbing his hand and walking backwards toward the hallway. "But only if you promise me one thing."

"What's that?" He asked fondly, letting her drag him.

"It's been a year for both of us. We're gonna have lots of time after before anyone else gets here."

"Lots of cuddling?" Leonard guessed. Penny nodded. "You got yourself a deal," Leonard said, smiling.

They reached his room. Penny put a hand on the door handle and reached over to kiss his cheek. "Good."

* * *

Bernadette checked her watch. "It's been ten minutes. They've got to be having sex by now."

"Agreed. If this had gone wrong, she'd be back down here." Amy said.

"Okay. So let's get out of here and come back at dinner time," Bernadette suggested, putting the car in reverse.

"Wait!"

Bernadette slammed the brakes. "What?"

Amy opened the door and jumped out, moving to the passenger door. "Just because Penny's back does not mean my 'shotgun when Penny isn't here' call is nullified."

* * *

**Wrote this in a half an hour…hope it doesn't show! Most of my L/P chapters that are more on the romance side tend to take twice as long for me to write and go over. :/ Let me know what you think!**


	23. Deja Vu

**This is the last chapter. I hope everyone enjoyed reading it; I certianly enjoyed writing it! Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers, I love you guys! :D**

**DISCLAIMER: I still do not own any of these characters or locations. The Big Bang Theory is written by Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady and is owned by CBS.**

* * *

"Okay," Penny said, giggling as she cuddled up to Leonard. "We're out of practice."

"You can say that again," he said, laughing as he attempted to catch his breath. His left arm crossed over his body so his hand could rest on her stomach. She put her hands on top of his. "Tell me," he said, tilting his head to see her better, "did you get put in a nice place?"

She closed her eyes, nodding. "Uh huh. It was nice. Small town. Lived in a small house. Worked at a store. It was really laid back compared to here."

"It sounds really nice," Leonard said, staring up at the ceiling. "Are you going to try to get your old job back?"

Penny was confused for a moment, and then she realized Leonard was talking about The Cheesecake Factory. "I don't know, honestly. I had to pay all my own bills this past year, and I felt really independent. Going back to that job might feel like a step back."

"Do you have any other ideas?" He teased.

Penny sat up and thought about it for a moment, gazing up at the sky, and then she looked back at Leonard and laughed. "Nope!"

He laughed with her. "Come here," he said, tugging her closer and planting a kiss on her cheek. "I'm so glad you're home."

"Me too," she said. "And I'm not leaving anymore. I'm stayin' right here," she tapped his nose. "With you."

"I'm good with that," he said, smiling at her. She leaned down and kissed him again, and then settled back down into a laying position, pushing her head into the crook of his neck. "When are you going to tell Raj and Howard that you're home? And Sheldon?"

"When they get here," she said. "I'd feel weird calling them…after this long."

"Sheldon will be home soon," Leonard said. "He should, anyway. He'll be happy to see you. I don't sing Soft Kitty right."

That made Penny smile. "I've missed him. There's been a few times last year when someone would say something rather unintelligent and I've wanted him to jump in and correct them. Even so far away, there'd be times when I'd be surprised that you or Sheldon or someone else didn't explain this, or comment on that, and then I'd remember you weren't there. That's when it would get really hard to be away, and not call anyone. And I didn't have anyone to talk to about it."

"I had Bernadette," Leonard said. "We both missed you a lot, and we both knew you weren't … _thought_ you weren't coming back, so we'd meet up sometimes to talk about it. It helped a bit. So did your father."

Penny nodded. "He told me – I stopped there on my way home – that you two had become really close. It made me really happy to hear."

"Your family is great," Leonard said. "They are so loving towards me; your parents both call me 'son' and your nephew calls me 'uncle'. I just love them."

"Good," Penny said, sliding a hand up to his chest. "Wake me up when Sheldon gets home."

He kissed her hair.

* * *

In actuality, they only napped for around a half an hour, and were standing in the kitchen when Sheldon got home. "There he is," Leonard said as he poured water into Penny's mug. She nodded, looking down at the water going from the bottle to the mug and, despite the fact that one of her best friends was about to enter the room, her thoughts were occupied hoping that Leonard didn't spill any of the water.

The door opened, and Sheldon walked in, dropping his keys into the bowl and closing the door in the awkward manner that he always did, perhaps holding his shoulders more stiffly than he had been the last time Penny had seen him.

Penny looked at Leonard, who smiled and called out to his roommate. "Sheldon, look who's home!" Sheldon looked up, then did a double take. Penny stepped around the counter, confused at what she saw in his eyes. He seemed surprised…fearful? Bernadette had told her that Sheldon had drawn into himself quite a bit since his link to the 'normal' world had been gone…was it so bad that he didn't recognize her?

No, he recognized her; it was silly to think otherwise. It had only been a year. He just seemed unsure of what to do. "Well, Penny," he said, looking at her sideways. "You're home."

"Yes I am," she said. "Shelly," she added after a moment. She wanted to hug him, but she wasn't sure what this new Sheldon would do. Or was it … Old Sheldon?

Sheldon walked toward her, his hands coming away from his sides. This felt familiar, but Penny had no idea why she was getting this déjà vu. It wasn't until he reached her and stood there moving his arms around, not touching her, when she realized why this felt familiar.

He was trying to hug her. But this wasn't the hug he'd given her just because she'd asked the night before she left. This wasn't the thrilled to death hug he'd given her when she, just to appease him, had said that she'd talk to Leonard about the Switzerland trip. She could see it now; the initial shock had worn off of his face and he _was_ happy that she was home, but he had lost his ability to be spontaneous.

She was afraid of spooking him, but she craned her neck to see behind her; Leonard was standing by their mugs, holding the bottle of water and smiling. She looked back forward, waiting patiently as Sheldon thought out how to hug. Slowly, tentatively, his arms came around her. When he touched her, she gave up being patient and wrapped him in a hug. He tensed for a moment, and then hugged her back.

"Why did you leave us?" Sheldon asked. "Leonard was holed up in his room for weeks afterward, and as you weren't there either, I had to rely on Koothrapali for a ride to work, and as you know, he's inconsistent when it comes to being nice to me!"

"I missed you too, Sheldon," she said, rolling her eyes even though no one could see her do it.

When Raj and Howard came over that evening, Bernadette and Amy in tow, Penny allowed both of the men to hug her at the same time. She'd missed them a lot; even the creepy remarks Howard would sometimes make.

"Aw, look at us with this little three – way," Howard said mere seconds into the hug.

Okay, maybe not. "O_kay_," Penny said, backing out of the hug as Bernadette rolled her eyes at her boyfriend.

"How are we going to work this?" Leonard asked, looking around the living room.

"Well, two pizzas," Howard said. "Seven of us…wow, we won't be eating much, now will we?"

"Howard," Bernadette said, shaking her head.

"What?"

"I believe Leonard was talking about the lack of seating availability," Amy said. She looked at Penny. "Right, bestie?"

Penny grinned. "Right."

"How about…" Raj said, and then clapped his hands over his mouth.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," Penny said.

Raj cleared his throat. "Howard, Bernadette, me, Sheldon, Penny, Leonard, Amy."

"He knows all our names!" Leonard said, clapping.

"No," Howard said. "He means I sit on the arm of the couch, Bernadette, him, and Sheldon on the cushions, Penny and you in the chair, one on the arm…or something, and Amy in the chair across from Sheldon."

The seven of them stared at the coffee table and surrounding seats for a moment. Then they shrugged. "That works," Leonard said.

Bernadette put the pizza boxes on the table and the group sat down. "So Penny," Howard asked. "Why did you run off to Nebraska?"

"I didn't," she admitted. "Remember that trial I testified at?"

"Hindley," Amy said to Sheldon, as if he wouldn't remember himself.

"Thank you," he said sarcastically, and then looked at Penny for approval. She rolled her eyes again.

"Well," Penny said, "He was all like 'I'm coming after you' so they put me in Witness Protection. But I left because…"

"Because you missed us too much?" Howard asked, giving her a smile that Penny suspected was supposed to _not_ come off as a little creepy.

She almost gave him a sarcastic "not on your life" response. But no one met someone after a year apart and lied. No one with a heart, anyway. "Yes," she said. "I did."

"Well, don't worry," Howard said. "He's been holed up in that prison for…wow, it's been a year, hasn't it?" Penny, Leonard, and Bernadette nodded. "Well, if he tries to get anyone to come after you, we'll be your Witness Protectors."

Penny smiled, amused. "Oh yeah? And how will you do that?"

Howard and Raj smirked at each other. "We've gotten _pretty_ good at paintball since you left," Howard said.

He spoke so seriously that Penny burst out laughing. "Sounds like a plan, Howard." She glanced at Leonard and they rolled their eyes at each other.

* * *

_I said "hey, it's good to be back home again". – John Denver_


End file.
